My mind keeps going back

I woke up today and felt like I had been hit by a train in the night. I have woken like this for the last couple of months. It feels like I have run a marathon every night in my sleep, but, I wasn't even sure that my eyes were ever closed long enough to have run a marathon. I am aware of some insane dreams. I am often involved in some dramatic rescue and the people in my dreams revolve like a moving platform. It is a sequence you can depend upon. Mostly the people I miss the most occur in my dreams the most frequent and those who I feel don't know me, but still judge me are a close second. I assume the last group is the ones I feel guilty for letting down in life. I wish I would write about my dreams more so that I could understand more about my subconscious. While some people simply have nutty dreams lacking direct connections to their lives, it never takes me long to find the connections to my life. Right after we moved to the Temporary home and I couldn't see Matt (our close friend and neighbor) everyday, I realized how much I had grown to depend on venting and finding comfort in his presence. Tiff (his girlfriend/wife and mother of their son Brennan) has been gone for so long to a job where she is able to come home only two days a week at most. I have missed her since Jake was born, so it forced a closer relationship on Matt and I, "an odd pair" ,I treat him like I treat my brother and I assume he rants about how stupid I am to Tiff, but just the same, I miss them. I started to have dreams about what I assume was worrying about all the dangerous things Matt does for his job and the traveling Tiff does for her job. It combined my feeling of loss that I felt with the move. I wish we could have taken them with us. One of the dreams/nightmares involved Matt being caught inside of a burning building that one of the stupid college kids had set on fire. I had Brennan, a great kid might I mention, and Tiff was on her way home from her job for the week. Brennan ran into the building to save his dad and I had to run in after Bren. I suddenly found Brennan, Matt and I at the top of a building swirling in flames and we realized that we could get Brennan out so we threw him and hoped he landed in a safe place then we looked at each other and said, "Tiff is on her way, what they will tell her, oh, my god..." Then Matt said to close my eyes and think cold and he grabbed me and pulled me into the inevitable with him. It ended right there. No more. I woke up sweating no less. I desperately wanted to call Tiff to make sure everything was okay, but didn't want to sound crazy. It's weird but we depended on them for so much more than "can you let the dog out, can you watch the house while we are gone, and can we borrow a rake..." We depended on them for friendship and a family that you get to choose. We try to meet them every Friday night for some Burger King and indoor playground goodness, but, life sometimes happens and things get in the way. Anyway, I have rambled about something completely off of topic again. Oh, well, maybe it was what I was meant to say all along.