I love coming home to the farm to do the mowing, weedwacking, but also swinging on a swing I am too big for, scavenging through the barns for stuff I want to see, and climbing up the grain bins to see as far as the eye can see.
I love that I am able to take my pants off in the middle of the yard because I have something inside of them and not having to worry about people around, well, other than family. My family doesn't seem to mind, but you should have seen my husband's face as I stood there in my bright pink underware holding my jeans. "I took my pants off." I said. He said calmly, "I can see that." Oh, well, he knew me when he married me.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
A Not So Happy Moment- I Must Give My Respect
I suppose there is that one moment when we all first realize our mortality. Yet, I guess I wasn’t ready to be reminded of it every day that I lived thereafter. I am not upset about it, I am rather grateful for it just as grateful as I am for the mess in my kitchen left from our meal: as annoyed and grateful as you can be at the same time that we had a full stomach and we never go hungry. I am as grateful as I am when my husband really believes that I don’t like Valentine’s Day, jewelry, or all of the other things I said so I wouldn’t stress him out. Now I just stress him out in so many other ways. At least I have him. At least I know he is sleeping safely downstairs. He may be sleeping when we are all awake and I may miss him desperately, but I know he is safe downstairs. He is here and we are safe.
I hate May. I know it is meant to be a month of birth and life but it has always been death to me. My Grandpa died May 3rd. A friend of mine in high school committed suicide in May. Back home, (Aledo, Quad-cities area) there have been 10 deaths due to car accidents recently. But there have been other things in other places. It all has made me feel very ungrateful and selfish and simply a self-absorbed, greedy, undeserving lucky woman….because I am.
A man lost his wife slowly to a disease that he couldn’t stop. His faith helped him stand strong when I’m sure his heart dissolved with pain. He is a pastor of a church and his church family loves him very much. It was a long and painful struggle, yet at the same time it happened all too fast. Mrs. Cheryl Dykstra has passed on. And my life goes on. http://mywebtimes.com/archives/ottawa/display.php?id=405292
A woman’s husband changed to third shift and when coming home one morning he crossed the center line after falling asleep to crash head on into a grain truck. He had three daughters and a wife waiting at home. One of his daughters has special needs. He died in three seconds. Mr. Michael McIntire has passed on. And my life goes on. http://www.aledotimesrecord.com/obituaries/x1540368500/Michael-McIntire
A man my age from Macomb, Eric Hill, whom I can only speak of as someone I knew of, although I felt so much closer to him, died recently in a terrible car accident. I can’t figure it out in my mind. We live in a town of 20,000 when students are here and I can go forever without seeing certain people. Yet, others seem to cross my path over and over again as if we walk the same path in life. A couple of days before he died or even on the same day…I can’t remember I ran past him as he was running down Maple Avenue. He was always running or working hard at something. Whenever we met eyes and said “hi” there was an acknowledgement that the other was fighting for something too. I asked Ted about him because I saw it in his eyes. Eric worked for Yin Cheng Restaurant for years as a waiter, and that is where people in this community began to see his hard work and dedication to everything he did. He was recently working as a private investigator. He was part of the National Guard and he apparently was just hired by border patrol. He had two small children. I think his daughter wasn’t even one yet. He was married the same year Ted and I were. I just want to walk up to the door of his house with tons of food for his wife. I want to walk inside and do her dishes or her laundry, or just give her a hug. I keep crying because I just found out he died and it happened two weeks ago so I missed the visitation and funeral and everything. He didn’t even know my name, but he didn’t have to, because I knew his. He was that type of person. Someone who walks around with a light around them and they aren’t even trying in the slightest. Mr. Eric Hill has passed. And my life goes on. http://www.mcdonoughvoice.com/Obituaries/x289816933/Eric-Hill
I hate May. I know it is meant to be a month of birth and life but it has always been death to me. My Grandpa died May 3rd. A friend of mine in high school committed suicide in May. Back home, (Aledo, Quad-cities area) there have been 10 deaths due to car accidents recently. But there have been other things in other places. It all has made me feel very ungrateful and selfish and simply a self-absorbed, greedy, undeserving lucky woman….because I am.
A man lost his wife slowly to a disease that he couldn’t stop. His faith helped him stand strong when I’m sure his heart dissolved with pain. He is a pastor of a church and his church family loves him very much. It was a long and painful struggle, yet at the same time it happened all too fast. Mrs. Cheryl Dykstra has passed on. And my life goes on. http://mywebtimes.com/archives/ottawa/display.php?id=405292
A woman’s husband changed to third shift and when coming home one morning he crossed the center line after falling asleep to crash head on into a grain truck. He had three daughters and a wife waiting at home. One of his daughters has special needs. He died in three seconds. Mr. Michael McIntire has passed on. And my life goes on. http://www.aledotimesrecord.com/obituaries/x1540368500/Michael-McIntire
A man my age from Macomb, Eric Hill, whom I can only speak of as someone I knew of, although I felt so much closer to him, died recently in a terrible car accident. I can’t figure it out in my mind. We live in a town of 20,000 when students are here and I can go forever without seeing certain people. Yet, others seem to cross my path over and over again as if we walk the same path in life. A couple of days before he died or even on the same day…I can’t remember I ran past him as he was running down Maple Avenue. He was always running or working hard at something. Whenever we met eyes and said “hi” there was an acknowledgement that the other was fighting for something too. I asked Ted about him because I saw it in his eyes. Eric worked for Yin Cheng Restaurant for years as a waiter, and that is where people in this community began to see his hard work and dedication to everything he did. He was recently working as a private investigator. He was part of the National Guard and he apparently was just hired by border patrol. He had two small children. I think his daughter wasn’t even one yet. He was married the same year Ted and I were. I just want to walk up to the door of his house with tons of food for his wife. I want to walk inside and do her dishes or her laundry, or just give her a hug. I keep crying because I just found out he died and it happened two weeks ago so I missed the visitation and funeral and everything. He didn’t even know my name, but he didn’t have to, because I knew his. He was that type of person. Someone who walks around with a light around them and they aren’t even trying in the slightest. Mr. Eric Hill has passed. And my life goes on. http://www.mcdonoughvoice.com/Obituaries/x289816933/Eric-Hill
Thankful things for Today
1) April Fresh Downey Laundry Sheets, but not for laundry: For the bottom of trash cans, window sills, dresser drawers, inside the pillow cases of your pillows, underneath your fitted sheets on the bed, stuck to the back of a fan((it pulls the smell through it and out the other side), in your car, good for dusting some things, inside your stinky shoes and so many more things!
2) OxyClean Max Force Power Paks- Super white, super clean, wonderful smell, they dissolve in the washer, such a novel idea
3) Method Multi-purpose spray cleaner in french lavender scent- when I am not using vinegar and water mixed with drops of essential oils, I use this-like right before people come over. It also seems to relax me, b/c of the lavender I think.
4) Time-out chairs that are high off the ground- bar stool/like: They will get sick of climbing down and running off faster than if thay can just stand up and run off.
5) Refrigerators that beep when you leave the door open: Great for when you have kids who leave the door open....ok great for me b/c I never shut it hard enough and it stays open until I hear the beep!
6) When your children get old enough to take showers and thus bathe by themselves: Hard for a mother who is a control freak and most certain that her child has not scrubbed appropriately, but when that second kid comes around its amazing how quick you just don't care if they choose to smell like a wet dog....GRANT!
7) Sprinklers: For when your children bathe on their own and you want some extra cleaning (WARNING: this may increase the smell of a wet dog)
8) Calluses on your hands- A reminder that I work hard, lift weights often and care about the right things.
9) Permanent stains from digging in the dirt on your hands- A reminder that I work hard, never grew out of playing in the dirt, that soap and scrub brushes can't get everything off and to be more lenient on the boys....
10) Smile/laugh lines: I love to see people who have smile and laugh lines. I love mine, I love yours, don't cover them up with make-up or botox or surgery, they show how happy you have been in your life.
11) Organized Races with T-shirts- My favorite so for has been the Cornapoolooza in Mendota and I got fourth in my age division. It was by corn fields and people came to see me run and the boys got to see me run for the first time ever. It felt great.
12) People who stand for something...anything...that nobody else stands for, meaning they are alone and still stand tall because they know in their heart that what they believe will set them free- Now that is bravery and courage in its finest form.
2) OxyClean Max Force Power Paks- Super white, super clean, wonderful smell, they dissolve in the washer, such a novel idea
3) Method Multi-purpose spray cleaner in french lavender scent- when I am not using vinegar and water mixed with drops of essential oils, I use this-like right before people come over. It also seems to relax me, b/c of the lavender I think.
4) Time-out chairs that are high off the ground- bar stool/like: They will get sick of climbing down and running off faster than if thay can just stand up and run off.
5) Refrigerators that beep when you leave the door open: Great for when you have kids who leave the door open....ok great for me b/c I never shut it hard enough and it stays open until I hear the beep!
6) When your children get old enough to take showers and thus bathe by themselves: Hard for a mother who is a control freak and most certain that her child has not scrubbed appropriately, but when that second kid comes around its amazing how quick you just don't care if they choose to smell like a wet dog....GRANT!
7) Sprinklers: For when your children bathe on their own and you want some extra cleaning (WARNING: this may increase the smell of a wet dog)
8) Calluses on your hands- A reminder that I work hard, lift weights often and care about the right things.
9) Permanent stains from digging in the dirt on your hands- A reminder that I work hard, never grew out of playing in the dirt, that soap and scrub brushes can't get everything off and to be more lenient on the boys....
10) Smile/laugh lines: I love to see people who have smile and laugh lines. I love mine, I love yours, don't cover them up with make-up or botox or surgery, they show how happy you have been in your life.
11) Organized Races with T-shirts- My favorite so for has been the Cornapoolooza in Mendota and I got fourth in my age division. It was by corn fields and people came to see me run and the boys got to see me run for the first time ever. It felt great.
12) People who stand for something...anything...that nobody else stands for, meaning they are alone and still stand tall because they know in their heart that what they believe will set them free- Now that is bravery and courage in its finest form.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Some More Great Things
1) Glee- Favorite TV show! I DVR it along with all of the other shows and watch them at night when I can. SOme people really got into Twilight and I never did. I am what you call a Gleek. I am obsessed. I know way too much about the actors and every detail of the show.
2) So You Think You Can Dance- Grant and I have always watched this together since he was born. He loves it. I DVR it for him and I to watch together, but I can't ever wait so I secretly watch it at night before he sees it. This show is what got Grant into break dancing moves and ultimately inspired him to learn odd things like stand on his head, walk on his hands, do flips, etc.
3) Community, Modern Family, The Middle, Wizards of Waverly Place, iCarly- I love to laugh and I do nothing other than laugh when I see these shows. I watch the last two b/c the boys love them. Grant wants to watch a new one called Good Luck Charlie, I'll let you know....
4) XM or Sirius Radio: Doctor Radio 119- Mom has this in her car and whenever I get to drive it I am tempted to take off and drive until I can't stay awake any longer simply listening to the Dr. Radio. It is such great stuff. I have to have it! Either I will steal Mom's car or buy xm or Sirius radio. Oddly enough, my police officer husband would vote for stealing Mom's car.
5) My magazine subscriptions: New England Journal of Medicine, Runners World, Fitness and Shape- I have about four months of magazines to read for each one because I am so far behind. I'll get there. I really enjoy reading, I just need more hours in a day or less need for sleep.
6) Tillers- Hoeing is impossible if your garden is ginormous. I found a tiller I want and I think I will just add it to the list of lawn equipment we will be buying soon.
7) Riding mowers- I love mowing!I am looking a mower I have been wanting for awhile. I think will call my brother Dan, my cousin Jim, and my other cousin Darren soon. there are so many things I want to ask them about when it comes to building our farm from ground up. They carry pieces of Grandpa in their brains and all of their experiences in life have made them a high commodity in my life. I value their opinions.
8) Toads and Frogs- Grant loves looking for hours on end for toad and frogs no matter where we are at. It keeps him busy and it keeps him happy. That is perfect in my book. A busy, happy, child.
9) Wormies- Jake loves looking for wormies wherever there is dirt and a shovel. I also enjoy this due to Jake's love for it as well as it keeps him very busy!
10) Lap counters- They YMCA has been my choice of running lately due to my issues with heat and stomach cramps. I have to have a lap counter who I run on their track....I lose track of mu laps after lap 3 without it. I am a really focused runner. Some could call it dazed.
11) Low-Sodium V8- These are a great refuel after a run and if you want to drink one before your run drink it about 1 hour before to make sure it wont cause any immediate intestinal discomfort. The Potassium in the low-sodium version I buy is the highest amount I have found in a drink. I love it.
12) Erma Bombeck Books- I am currently a student of Erma Bombeck
13) Prayer Jar- A reminder that I can take it to God, but I must leave it with him and then leave him alone with it. I won't ask for it back if it doesn't get done the way I wanted, sometimes I just remind myself that some of Gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
14) A non-picky husband- Wanted me to stay home with the kids but didn't make me, wanted me to not give up when Grant was Jake's age now (2.5) and go to work Jake was a newborn because I was going out of my mind... I couldn't handle it, but he told me we could make anything work if we really needed to. He didn't want me to have to go back to work now that we are building, but I really should so we can comfortable pay our loan payments on the home. He doesn't get mad when the dishes aren't done or the laundry isn't done, he doesn't get mad that I leave my wet towels everywhere....But he does get pretty po'ed if you offer him food and hold it up toward his face! Oh, and make sure not to say 24/7 because he can't stand it when people say that. I'm sorry I lay my wet towels everywhere 24/7 Ted, I will work on it. :)
15) Grant again- He gets my sarcasm and he can finish my thoughts and sentences. I love that kid
16) Dancing, dreaming of dancing, wishing I was dancing, thinking about dancing, wondering if I'm too old to be a dancer......:-)
17) Moments when I am running
18) Moments when I am lifting
19) Moments when I am laughing
20) Restaurants that have healthy options other than apples and milk- What about vegetables?
21) When Jake does the robot- still as funny as the first time he did it at 1 year old
22) When Ted is silly- not may times anymore because he is always so tired from constant shift changes, but when Uncle Neil comes over to play, Daddy gets his silly on and I see the man I fell in love with.
23) When Grant puts on shows- I really think this kid may have a future in comedy...not sure how, but he has great comedic timing
24) When I'm around happy people- its contagious
25) Mocha Frappes from McDonald's- one time a week, just like Kelly said. In the beginning I got them everyday for like two weeks and gained weight...not telling how much but it was too much. I lost it right away when I stopped though.
26) Occasional Mt. Dew's- Drinking lots of water and tea
27) Moments like right now- kids are asleep, laundry and dishes are in the middle of cycles and I am writing while the season finale of Dancing With The Stars and American Idol play in the background.
28) When my butt-thigh separates into a butt and a thigh- I just need to be more dedicated to lifting and not let anything get in the way.
29) swings- Jake loves to swing for hours....no seriously hours.... I can sit in a chair, read a magazine and push him with one arm while reading with the other! I know it sounds lazy but that kid never gives up!
30) freshly brewed iced tea
2) So You Think You Can Dance- Grant and I have always watched this together since he was born. He loves it. I DVR it for him and I to watch together, but I can't ever wait so I secretly watch it at night before he sees it. This show is what got Grant into break dancing moves and ultimately inspired him to learn odd things like stand on his head, walk on his hands, do flips, etc.
3) Community, Modern Family, The Middle, Wizards of Waverly Place, iCarly- I love to laugh and I do nothing other than laugh when I see these shows. I watch the last two b/c the boys love them. Grant wants to watch a new one called Good Luck Charlie, I'll let you know....
4) XM or Sirius Radio: Doctor Radio 119- Mom has this in her car and whenever I get to drive it I am tempted to take off and drive until I can't stay awake any longer simply listening to the Dr. Radio. It is such great stuff. I have to have it! Either I will steal Mom's car or buy xm or Sirius radio. Oddly enough, my police officer husband would vote for stealing Mom's car.
5) My magazine subscriptions: New England Journal of Medicine, Runners World, Fitness and Shape- I have about four months of magazines to read for each one because I am so far behind. I'll get there. I really enjoy reading, I just need more hours in a day or less need for sleep.
6) Tillers- Hoeing is impossible if your garden is ginormous. I found a tiller I want and I think I will just add it to the list of lawn equipment we will be buying soon.
7) Riding mowers- I love mowing!I am looking a mower I have been wanting for awhile. I think will call my brother Dan, my cousin Jim, and my other cousin Darren soon. there are so many things I want to ask them about when it comes to building our farm from ground up. They carry pieces of Grandpa in their brains and all of their experiences in life have made them a high commodity in my life. I value their opinions.
8) Toads and Frogs- Grant loves looking for hours on end for toad and frogs no matter where we are at. It keeps him busy and it keeps him happy. That is perfect in my book. A busy, happy, child.
9) Wormies- Jake loves looking for wormies wherever there is dirt and a shovel. I also enjoy this due to Jake's love for it as well as it keeps him very busy!
10) Lap counters- They YMCA has been my choice of running lately due to my issues with heat and stomach cramps. I have to have a lap counter who I run on their track....I lose track of mu laps after lap 3 without it. I am a really focused runner. Some could call it dazed.
11) Low-Sodium V8- These are a great refuel after a run and if you want to drink one before your run drink it about 1 hour before to make sure it wont cause any immediate intestinal discomfort. The Potassium in the low-sodium version I buy is the highest amount I have found in a drink. I love it.
12) Erma Bombeck Books- I am currently a student of Erma Bombeck
13) Prayer Jar- A reminder that I can take it to God, but I must leave it with him and then leave him alone with it. I won't ask for it back if it doesn't get done the way I wanted, sometimes I just remind myself that some of Gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
14) A non-picky husband- Wanted me to stay home with the kids but didn't make me, wanted me to not give up when Grant was Jake's age now (2.5) and go to work Jake was a newborn because I was going out of my mind... I couldn't handle it, but he told me we could make anything work if we really needed to. He didn't want me to have to go back to work now that we are building, but I really should so we can comfortable pay our loan payments on the home. He doesn't get mad when the dishes aren't done or the laundry isn't done, he doesn't get mad that I leave my wet towels everywhere....But he does get pretty po'ed if you offer him food and hold it up toward his face! Oh, and make sure not to say 24/7 because he can't stand it when people say that. I'm sorry I lay my wet towels everywhere 24/7 Ted, I will work on it. :)
15) Grant again- He gets my sarcasm and he can finish my thoughts and sentences. I love that kid
16) Dancing, dreaming of dancing, wishing I was dancing, thinking about dancing, wondering if I'm too old to be a dancer......:-)
17) Moments when I am running
18) Moments when I am lifting
19) Moments when I am laughing
20) Restaurants that have healthy options other than apples and milk- What about vegetables?
21) When Jake does the robot- still as funny as the first time he did it at 1 year old
22) When Ted is silly- not may times anymore because he is always so tired from constant shift changes, but when Uncle Neil comes over to play, Daddy gets his silly on and I see the man I fell in love with.
23) When Grant puts on shows- I really think this kid may have a future in comedy...not sure how, but he has great comedic timing
24) When I'm around happy people- its contagious
25) Mocha Frappes from McDonald's- one time a week, just like Kelly said. In the beginning I got them everyday for like two weeks and gained weight...not telling how much but it was too much. I lost it right away when I stopped though.
26) Occasional Mt. Dew's- Drinking lots of water and tea
27) Moments like right now- kids are asleep, laundry and dishes are in the middle of cycles and I am writing while the season finale of Dancing With The Stars and American Idol play in the background.
28) When my butt-thigh separates into a butt and a thigh- I just need to be more dedicated to lifting and not let anything get in the way.
29) swings- Jake loves to swing for hours....no seriously hours.... I can sit in a chair, read a magazine and push him with one arm while reading with the other! I know it sounds lazy but that kid never gives up!
30) freshly brewed iced tea
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Forever, Erma
"I never met three children who could understand me less. When I laid out the pajamas, put the sides up on the crib and turned on the night-light, they came alive like the "big midnight show," standing on their heads, bringing out all the toys and playing patty-cake with the dog. When I picked up the phone, like mechanical robots on schedule they gargled bleach, rolled potatoes across the floor, climbed on top of the TV set and took off all their clothes. When I said "no," they giggled; "not now," they bit me; "come to Mama," they ran into traffic; "let me see what is in your hand, " they ate it; "The strained lamb is good for you," they blew it back into my face. Communicate with a toddler? I'd sooner take my chances with an untrained, excited puppy on a new white carpet." - Erma Bombeck from her book Forever, Erma
I've been reading Erma Bombeck books lately and I can't tell you how much I enjoy her writings. She wrote the things I think and write about. She inspires me. She reminds me to laugh at myself. It makes me feel as if I am not so far off...
Millions of people agreed and laughed with Erma Bombeck as she laughed at herself and the silliness and chaos of life. I hope to learn all that I can from this amazing talent.
Today I was running and a song by Taylor Swift came on my Ipod. You see, Amber and I are running the Rubarb Fest Race in Aledo next weekend. We've know we were going to do it since this winter, but we seemed to fight to find the time to run. It's frustrating, but realistic. It's annoying, but it fits the job description. We understand eachother enough to know we run until we fall over if we are thrown into the fire. We simply must do our best. Unfortunately our bodies don't match our minds. I never realized how hard Amber and I are on ourselves until it came to lifting. She is going to give me a wedgie for talking about her, but I'll take that wedgie! The trainers in two different towns at two different YMCA's gave two different programs. We act the very same. If the trainer tells us to do 12 reps...we do 15. If someone else does 20 then so do we....we can't have someone doing more!
Three sets of 20- don't skip an exercise- straight down the list- no time for chit-chat- just work- wild-like animals trying to prove we have something to show the world!
So, back to the song. Taylor Swift has a song called "Change" and I would like to dedicate it to Amber's and my Quadriceps and Gluteus Maximus:
The Change:
And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you
Somebody else gets what you wanted again
You know it's all the same, another time and place
Repeating history and you?re getting sick of it
But I believe in whatever you do
And I'll do anything to see it through
Because these things will change, can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win
We'll sing hallelujah!
We'll sing hallelujah! Oh
So we've been outnumbered, raided and now cornered
It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair
We're getting stronger now from things they never found
They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared
You can walk away and say we don't need this
But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this
'Cause these things will change, can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win
We'll sing hallelujah!
We'll sing hallelujah! Oh
Tonight we standed on our knees
To fight for what we worked for all these years
And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives
Will we stand up champions tonight?
It was the night things changed, can you see it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back fell down
It's a revolution, throw your hands up, 'cause we never gave in
We'll sing hallelujah!
We sang hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Thank you legs and butt-a-mus you do so much for us.
I've been reading Erma Bombeck books lately and I can't tell you how much I enjoy her writings. She wrote the things I think and write about. She inspires me. She reminds me to laugh at myself. It makes me feel as if I am not so far off...
Millions of people agreed and laughed with Erma Bombeck as she laughed at herself and the silliness and chaos of life. I hope to learn all that I can from this amazing talent.
Today I was running and a song by Taylor Swift came on my Ipod. You see, Amber and I are running the Rubarb Fest Race in Aledo next weekend. We've know we were going to do it since this winter, but we seemed to fight to find the time to run. It's frustrating, but realistic. It's annoying, but it fits the job description. We understand eachother enough to know we run until we fall over if we are thrown into the fire. We simply must do our best. Unfortunately our bodies don't match our minds. I never realized how hard Amber and I are on ourselves until it came to lifting. She is going to give me a wedgie for talking about her, but I'll take that wedgie! The trainers in two different towns at two different YMCA's gave two different programs. We act the very same. If the trainer tells us to do 12 reps...we do 15. If someone else does 20 then so do we....we can't have someone doing more!
Three sets of 20- don't skip an exercise- straight down the list- no time for chit-chat- just work- wild-like animals trying to prove we have something to show the world!
So, back to the song. Taylor Swift has a song called "Change" and I would like to dedicate it to Amber's and my Quadriceps and Gluteus Maximus:
The Change:
And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you
Somebody else gets what you wanted again
You know it's all the same, another time and place
Repeating history and you?re getting sick of it
But I believe in whatever you do
And I'll do anything to see it through
Because these things will change, can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win
We'll sing hallelujah!
We'll sing hallelujah! Oh
So we've been outnumbered, raided and now cornered
It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair
We're getting stronger now from things they never found
They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared
You can walk away and say we don't need this
But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this
'Cause these things will change, can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win
We'll sing hallelujah!
We'll sing hallelujah! Oh
Tonight we standed on our knees
To fight for what we worked for all these years
And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives
Will we stand up champions tonight?
It was the night things changed, can you see it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back fell down
It's a revolution, throw your hands up, 'cause we never gave in
We'll sing hallelujah!
We sang hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Thank you legs and butt-a-mus you do so much for us.
Heeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeee's Joooeeeyyyyy!
I'm awkward, yet, beautiful in that awkwardness. I've always known it. Although I was afraid that if I said it, I would somehow sound foolish. I'm foolish, yet, beautiful in that foolishness. I've always known it. Although, I was afraid that if I said it, I would somehow sound tacky. I'm tacky in a sticky silly cartoon-like way. I cling on with my heart and soul until only my teeth are left still biting on. My body has long since gone and my soul has been left somewhere, probably in a ditch, down by the river.... I'm stubborn in a glorious way. I've always known it. I admit that. I feel emotion like you taste your first bite of that favorite piece of your first meal after a long fast. I insanely think I can read all of your emotions too. I've always known that I can't, although, it doesn't stop me from trying. I miss the keys of this computer like I miss running.
Today I decided it was time to begin writing again. I had stopped writing (in my blog) because I didn't like how it made me feel. I didn't like who it made me. It felt like I wasn't typing for the right reasons anymore. So, I told myself that I was going to take my time to figure out what I wanted to do with the blog and what direction I wanted it to take. I'm still not completely sure where I want to take this blog, but while writing an e-mail to Amber I realized all the things that make my days brighter. I if I wrote down my blessings, I could begin to figure out the path I wanted to follow.
Jo's List of Blessings (material and non-material)
1) Guided Imagery Meditation- CD's and you can find them online
I think it's interesting that I always skip over most of the women voices and go to the one's narrated by men. It is an added bonus if they have accents. I like Australian accents. Some of the women I first heard sounded like fingernails scratching down a chalkboard.
I use them for Migraines/Headaches, Anxiety/Panic, PTSD or Trauma: I can't tell you how amazing they are. Just listening to them stopped a migraine this afternoon! It makes me angry at my OBGYN's during the boys pregnancies. I wish I had known about this. I guess I am as much to blame as they are though because I could have researched it too.
2) Ipods and Ipod docking stations- Music makes my heart glow. I love to dance, I wish I could sing, and even though I can't really do either, it doesn't stop me. The boys started watching less TV when I got the docking station and now they sing songs all of the time even when there is no music playing.
3) Method laundry detergent- Tiny bottle, wonderful scent, no rashes on the kids for once, same amount of loads if not more than the large bottles of regular detergent, no mess squirt bottle, great price, and I will never buy another kind.
4) Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer- No tanning beds or laying out for me, SPF 1,000 please. I have major skin damage from the first 18 years of my life. This stuff smells good, leaves no streaks, no orange, great moisturizer, great color. I love it. BUT- I still wear sunscreen, sunglasses and a hat outside.
5) Degree Ultraclear Pure Clean scent for women- I stink and this is perfect for me and my sweaty working out/ chasing boys/ always intense pitty-pit-pits. It doesn't leave marks either.
6) Kashi Trail Mix Bars- Taste great, no additives or preservatives, love the company, great energy booster and healthy
7) Storey's Basic Country Skills Book-Everything I have ever needed to know to be the wo"man" of the house. This book is so amazing that I almost didn't want to tell anyone about it so I could be the only one who knew all about it!
8) Netflix- Angel choir singing.... Perfect for people who's children don't understand that you can't talk at your normal voice level in a movie theater...JAKE! Or who like to pretend the seat is a monster's mouth chewing them up...JAKE! Or who spill their drink all over the floor....JAKE! Or who say they want to go home five minutes after the movie starts....JAKE! Or for people who wish they could go see a movie but don't have the time to go during showing times.
9) YMCA membership- If I could live in the YMCA I would. When my kids are all grown I'm totally going to move in there secretly. Probably locker 180 if you need me.
10) Ted- Nobody else would have put up with me for this long. Nobody else would have put up with him this long...just kidding honey. You and I both know that our relationship works so well because we are too lazy to do anything else.
11) Amber- I'm not sure I have the words to explain what having her for my best friend has done for me. Maybe I will someday. Maybe I will be able to write about it.
12) House plants- I don't kill everything I touch!
13) Giant Gardens- I can see actual hard work pay off.
14) things to jump on- I'm not sure where this came from but I obviously mean it or I wouldn't have written it. I guess I just wish I had a trampoline Ted! When I move into the YMCA I will buy one and then I will jump on it to my hearts desire!
15) Jada- what an awesome dog
16) Traditional Medicinals Organic Lemon Yerba Mate Tea-caffeine without caffeine
16) Bigelow Decaf Green tea with lemon-Drank three cups a day all winter and I didn't get a cold. I also love the taste. In general it is just plain good for you too!
17) Vitamin supplements D, Magnesium, B Complex, and Omegas- My energy supply and mood enhancers
18) Gala apples- energy, health, tasty. Wash them really good if you don't buy organic though b/c they are part of the dirty dozen. I don't buy the organic even though I do with other fruits and veggies b/c they taste less crispy :-(
19) Weights and weight trainers and weight training classes, pilates and yoga- life changing...i promise, I would be willing to make large bets to anyone who wanted to make wagers.
20) Grandma's and Grandpa's- the one's who save you when you've run out of people to talk to because you have ticked everyone else off.
21) Grant and Jake- They say parents don't pick favortites but I sware that one day I will think one of my kids is the greatest thing on earth and the other one will surely end up leading me to believe that they only ate paint chips as a child....then the next day they switch roles and I can't figure out if they plan it or if I am just that moody. I think it is a competetive thing and one is always trying to be the center of my attetnion even if it is for the wrong thing.
Grant has turned into the most pleasant young man. I remember him being Jake's age and thinking that I was a failure. Actually I kept that thought until about January. Then he went from 2-10 years old in a matter of months. He is the best. He was away with his Grandma up North in Mendota visiting his cousins for three days and I missed someone talking nice to me so badly I almost cried. I realized that Grant is often very supportive and encouraging to me even when I am not expecting it. He is certainly worth ever tear of exhaustion I cried. Now if I can say that about "General-Punchy-Jake" then I will feel better. I just need to see he can be compassionate and loving so I can rest easier. He is so violent. Well, in my opinion. But, this comes from a Mother who doesn't let her kids play with toy guns, toy swords, or toy weapons of any kind. The boys can actually finish my sentence when I say:
Hey, Guns are not........
"TOYS!" they yell
I love it when I say:
Hurry up I'm leaving because being late is.......
"DISRESPECTFUL!" they yell.
Peace out yo.
Today I decided it was time to begin writing again. I had stopped writing (in my blog) because I didn't like how it made me feel. I didn't like who it made me. It felt like I wasn't typing for the right reasons anymore. So, I told myself that I was going to take my time to figure out what I wanted to do with the blog and what direction I wanted it to take. I'm still not completely sure where I want to take this blog, but while writing an e-mail to Amber I realized all the things that make my days brighter. I if I wrote down my blessings, I could begin to figure out the path I wanted to follow.
Jo's List of Blessings (material and non-material)
1) Guided Imagery Meditation- CD's and you can find them online
I think it's interesting that I always skip over most of the women voices and go to the one's narrated by men. It is an added bonus if they have accents. I like Australian accents. Some of the women I first heard sounded like fingernails scratching down a chalkboard.
I use them for Migraines/Headaches, Anxiety/Panic, PTSD or Trauma: I can't tell you how amazing they are. Just listening to them stopped a migraine this afternoon! It makes me angry at my OBGYN's during the boys pregnancies. I wish I had known about this. I guess I am as much to blame as they are though because I could have researched it too.
2) Ipods and Ipod docking stations- Music makes my heart glow. I love to dance, I wish I could sing, and even though I can't really do either, it doesn't stop me. The boys started watching less TV when I got the docking station and now they sing songs all of the time even when there is no music playing.
3) Method laundry detergent- Tiny bottle, wonderful scent, no rashes on the kids for once, same amount of loads if not more than the large bottles of regular detergent, no mess squirt bottle, great price, and I will never buy another kind.
4) Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer- No tanning beds or laying out for me, SPF 1,000 please. I have major skin damage from the first 18 years of my life. This stuff smells good, leaves no streaks, no orange, great moisturizer, great color. I love it. BUT- I still wear sunscreen, sunglasses and a hat outside.
5) Degree Ultraclear Pure Clean scent for women- I stink and this is perfect for me and my sweaty working out/ chasing boys/ always intense pitty-pit-pits. It doesn't leave marks either.
6) Kashi Trail Mix Bars- Taste great, no additives or preservatives, love the company, great energy booster and healthy
7) Storey's Basic Country Skills Book-Everything I have ever needed to know to be the wo"man" of the house. This book is so amazing that I almost didn't want to tell anyone about it so I could be the only one who knew all about it!
8) Netflix- Angel choir singing.... Perfect for people who's children don't understand that you can't talk at your normal voice level in a movie theater...JAKE! Or who like to pretend the seat is a monster's mouth chewing them up...JAKE! Or who spill their drink all over the floor....JAKE! Or who say they want to go home five minutes after the movie starts....JAKE! Or for people who wish they could go see a movie but don't have the time to go during showing times.
9) YMCA membership- If I could live in the YMCA I would. When my kids are all grown I'm totally going to move in there secretly. Probably locker 180 if you need me.
10) Ted- Nobody else would have put up with me for this long. Nobody else would have put up with him this long...just kidding honey. You and I both know that our relationship works so well because we are too lazy to do anything else.
11) Amber- I'm not sure I have the words to explain what having her for my best friend has done for me. Maybe I will someday. Maybe I will be able to write about it.
12) House plants- I don't kill everything I touch!
13) Giant Gardens- I can see actual hard work pay off.
14) things to jump on- I'm not sure where this came from but I obviously mean it or I wouldn't have written it. I guess I just wish I had a trampoline Ted! When I move into the YMCA I will buy one and then I will jump on it to my hearts desire!
15) Jada- what an awesome dog
16) Traditional Medicinals Organic Lemon Yerba Mate Tea-caffeine without caffeine
16) Bigelow Decaf Green tea with lemon-Drank three cups a day all winter and I didn't get a cold. I also love the taste. In general it is just plain good for you too!
17) Vitamin supplements D, Magnesium, B Complex, and Omegas- My energy supply and mood enhancers
18) Gala apples- energy, health, tasty. Wash them really good if you don't buy organic though b/c they are part of the dirty dozen. I don't buy the organic even though I do with other fruits and veggies b/c they taste less crispy :-(
19) Weights and weight trainers and weight training classes, pilates and yoga- life changing...i promise, I would be willing to make large bets to anyone who wanted to make wagers.
20) Grandma's and Grandpa's- the one's who save you when you've run out of people to talk to because you have ticked everyone else off.
21) Grant and Jake- They say parents don't pick favortites but I sware that one day I will think one of my kids is the greatest thing on earth and the other one will surely end up leading me to believe that they only ate paint chips as a child....then the next day they switch roles and I can't figure out if they plan it or if I am just that moody. I think it is a competetive thing and one is always trying to be the center of my attetnion even if it is for the wrong thing.
Grant has turned into the most pleasant young man. I remember him being Jake's age and thinking that I was a failure. Actually I kept that thought until about January. Then he went from 2-10 years old in a matter of months. He is the best. He was away with his Grandma up North in Mendota visiting his cousins for three days and I missed someone talking nice to me so badly I almost cried. I realized that Grant is often very supportive and encouraging to me even when I am not expecting it. He is certainly worth ever tear of exhaustion I cried. Now if I can say that about "General-Punchy-Jake" then I will feel better. I just need to see he can be compassionate and loving so I can rest easier. He is so violent. Well, in my opinion. But, this comes from a Mother who doesn't let her kids play with toy guns, toy swords, or toy weapons of any kind. The boys can actually finish my sentence when I say:
Hey, Guns are not........
"TOYS!" they yell
I love it when I say:
Hurry up I'm leaving because being late is.......
"DISRESPECTFUL!" they yell.
Peace out yo.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Let's try this...
My favorite place to be is............ (fill in the blank)
Click the comment button below (not the envelope) and push the keys on the keyboard.
Click the comment button below (not the envelope) and push the keys on the keyboard.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Who in the Halibut trips under water?
I am not eccentric. It's just that I am more alive than most people. I am an unpopular electric eel set in a pond of goldfish. ~Dame Edith Sitwell
So today was good. I woke up at 6, got ready and waited for Ted to get home from work. I was waiting by the door with my running shoes, my ipod armband, my cell phone, and my sunglasses. When he got in the door I passed the baton to him and I got to go for a run! He always stays up for about an hour before going to bed in the mornings so I had a tiny window to go and I took it. It was clear to the world that I need get my run on again. My blog entry last night and my bad attitude in general shows my need for it. I have always wanted to be that person who starts their day out with a run. I always feel great afterwards. Getting motivated is key.
When I got back I didn't need any caffeine. I had enough energy! I had less anxiety all day. It helped that I spent the whole day moving and working really hard.
Grant likes to use my phone and particularly likes to call his Grandma Arline lately. Sometimes it feels like he is sending her his SOS. Makes sense though...I did it too when I was little. "Grandma, I'm gonna ride my bike down," I would say, or I would just show up. He called her and asked if he could go to her house and play. I heard him talking and realized what he was doing. I just watched him to see how he acted on the phone with her. I could tell by his face that she was okay with it. He loves to look for toads in her yard. He paused to ask me if he could go to his Grandma's and I said, "Did she say it was okay, when would you be going and when would you be home?" He accidentally hung up on her then and I called her back to see what the details were. She said that both of the boys should come and play until 1pm and that she would take care of lunch. I admit, I was excited at the possibility to get somethings done without actually having to ask for help:-)
I wanted to do some touch up mowing and weed-wacking around the ditches where it was too steep to mow with the riding mower. Then I had to rake tons of grass after mowing because the grass was so long when I cut it that it left huge piles in the yard. I worked from 9:30-12:30 without realizing that even an hour had gone by. I got a nasty sunburn. 3 acres is a lot of ground when it has trees scattered and hills and things I shouldn't hit (like the cars)! J/K :-)
I looked at my garden and was so happy to see things coming along quite well. So many of the seeds are up and the plants I planted are so tall! I'm really impressed by the broccoli and the lettuce.
Anyway, I also walked to wt. class tonight which is another 2.5 miles. Then my sheet at wt. class tonight was strip methods and that is wicked hard. I actually stopped and went out to the car to get change, bought a mt. dew, drank it and then went back in because I was shaking and really dizzy and I needed to replace some sugar. I felt fine afterwards. Grant and Jake hang out in the nursery with Whitney, our Trainers daughter I think she is 7 or 8. She has the reddest curliest hair ever. I wish I had a daughter with bright red hair, curly hair and freckles. Sounds like my Mom doesn't it! Grant has known Whitney since we started to go to that class almost 2 years ago. He still calls her "that girl" because he is too smitten to get anything else out. You should see him. He can't talk. He told me tonight that he is going to make "that girl" his girlfriend someday. I said, "good luck, she is 2-3 years older than you! But, if you want to make her your girl...you better learn to say her name."
It is amazing how much more I enjoy the boys when we aren't around each other all day. Grant has been really funny lately. I mean, not your "unintentional funny", but your "I'm a stand-up comedian" funny.
Jake is imitating him...that is even more funny. Tonight Jake fell off of the swing set onto his face and he instantly got up and said, "WOW, I'm sure not gonna try THAT again!" This was only minutes after Grant pulled the seahorse scene off of Shark Tale...."Who in the Halibut trips under water!" Except he did it off of the swing set somehow and kneed himself in the face. But, I saw it in slow motion so it seem just like the movie. He ended up with a mouth full of blood. I was just worried that he hadn't lost a tooth. Now that I'm thinking about it I guess he will be loosing them soon anyway. Well after we got inside he was drinking some milk and he stopped to say to me "Just so you know, milk mixed with blood: not tasty. I just feel like a vampire drinking all that blood!"
Ted and I are bummed because we scheduled for Mom to watch the boys all day tomorrow so that we would get some important things done. She called tonight to tell us that she can't because she has an eye infection. We had planned another day for our important things on last Wed. but there were a few glitches. I just ended up feeling bad in the end. These two dates planned well in advance have become the reason why depending on other people seems to be pointless. Unless you have paid staff you can't depend on anyone.
Anyone willing to watch the boys for us any time from tomorrow thru next Tues. for 5$ hour? You can watch them here at their own home if you want. If you are here watching the boys while Ted and I are working on our duties, I can make you lunch, All you would have to do is keep them busy outside or play with them inside in a tidy manor. We are preparing for company next Wednesday by the owners.
So today was good. I woke up at 6, got ready and waited for Ted to get home from work. I was waiting by the door with my running shoes, my ipod armband, my cell phone, and my sunglasses. When he got in the door I passed the baton to him and I got to go for a run! He always stays up for about an hour before going to bed in the mornings so I had a tiny window to go and I took it. It was clear to the world that I need get my run on again. My blog entry last night and my bad attitude in general shows my need for it. I have always wanted to be that person who starts their day out with a run. I always feel great afterwards. Getting motivated is key.
When I got back I didn't need any caffeine. I had enough energy! I had less anxiety all day. It helped that I spent the whole day moving and working really hard.
Grant likes to use my phone and particularly likes to call his Grandma Arline lately. Sometimes it feels like he is sending her his SOS. Makes sense though...I did it too when I was little. "Grandma, I'm gonna ride my bike down," I would say, or I would just show up. He called her and asked if he could go to her house and play. I heard him talking and realized what he was doing. I just watched him to see how he acted on the phone with her. I could tell by his face that she was okay with it. He loves to look for toads in her yard. He paused to ask me if he could go to his Grandma's and I said, "Did she say it was okay, when would you be going and when would you be home?" He accidentally hung up on her then and I called her back to see what the details were. She said that both of the boys should come and play until 1pm and that she would take care of lunch. I admit, I was excited at the possibility to get somethings done without actually having to ask for help:-)
I wanted to do some touch up mowing and weed-wacking around the ditches where it was too steep to mow with the riding mower. Then I had to rake tons of grass after mowing because the grass was so long when I cut it that it left huge piles in the yard. I worked from 9:30-12:30 without realizing that even an hour had gone by. I got a nasty sunburn. 3 acres is a lot of ground when it has trees scattered and hills and things I shouldn't hit (like the cars)! J/K :-)
I looked at my garden and was so happy to see things coming along quite well. So many of the seeds are up and the plants I planted are so tall! I'm really impressed by the broccoli and the lettuce.
Anyway, I also walked to wt. class tonight which is another 2.5 miles. Then my sheet at wt. class tonight was strip methods and that is wicked hard. I actually stopped and went out to the car to get change, bought a mt. dew, drank it and then went back in because I was shaking and really dizzy and I needed to replace some sugar. I felt fine afterwards. Grant and Jake hang out in the nursery with Whitney, our Trainers daughter I think she is 7 or 8. She has the reddest curliest hair ever. I wish I had a daughter with bright red hair, curly hair and freckles. Sounds like my Mom doesn't it! Grant has known Whitney since we started to go to that class almost 2 years ago. He still calls her "that girl" because he is too smitten to get anything else out. You should see him. He can't talk. He told me tonight that he is going to make "that girl" his girlfriend someday. I said, "good luck, she is 2-3 years older than you! But, if you want to make her your girl...you better learn to say her name."
It is amazing how much more I enjoy the boys when we aren't around each other all day. Grant has been really funny lately. I mean, not your "unintentional funny", but your "I'm a stand-up comedian" funny.
Jake is imitating him...that is even more funny. Tonight Jake fell off of the swing set onto his face and he instantly got up and said, "WOW, I'm sure not gonna try THAT again!" This was only minutes after Grant pulled the seahorse scene off of Shark Tale...."Who in the Halibut trips under water!" Except he did it off of the swing set somehow and kneed himself in the face. But, I saw it in slow motion so it seem just like the movie. He ended up with a mouth full of blood. I was just worried that he hadn't lost a tooth. Now that I'm thinking about it I guess he will be loosing them soon anyway. Well after we got inside he was drinking some milk and he stopped to say to me "Just so you know, milk mixed with blood: not tasty. I just feel like a vampire drinking all that blood!"
Ted and I are bummed because we scheduled for Mom to watch the boys all day tomorrow so that we would get some important things done. She called tonight to tell us that she can't because she has an eye infection. We had planned another day for our important things on last Wed. but there were a few glitches. I just ended up feeling bad in the end. These two dates planned well in advance have become the reason why depending on other people seems to be pointless. Unless you have paid staff you can't depend on anyone.
Anyone willing to watch the boys for us any time from tomorrow thru next Tues. for 5$ hour? You can watch them here at their own home if you want. If you are here watching the boys while Ted and I are working on our duties, I can make you lunch, All you would have to do is keep them busy outside or play with them inside in a tidy manor. We are preparing for company next Wednesday by the owners.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Not a housewife
By The way this is at my 30th B-day Party It was a theme party (dress as a decade). Mom was Jane Fonda...Dan was Depression Era-ish, and I was the 50's (June Cleaver-ish):
For years I have loved to mow. I could never really explain it. While mowing the 3 acres of lawn tonight on the John Deere riding lawn mower, (which I will deeply miss when we move to our new home), it finally hit me why I loved it so much. I had so much time to think one of the many things I did think about was how I was a terrible housewife, but how I was quite good at being a "husband" role or whatever that stereotype used to be. I love fixing things, putting things together, hard labor...outside, gardening, farming, learning about mechanics, electronics, appliances, carpentry, etc. I hate laundry, dishes, picking up stupid toys over and over and over and over and over.......................................... same old stuff everyday blah, blah, blah. When I mow the lawn I see an immediate change. I can be a perfectionist. I can do it my own way and by myself. If I hate the way the lines look after I mowed I can drive down the row again and make it look straight quick as a wink. I don't have to listen to anyone. I think I like mowing for a lot of the same reasons I like to run. Now, as I lay here on the floor, no one can go out into my yard and make the yard grow to the height it was before I cut it tonight by tomorrow morning. I know I won't have to do it all over again tomorrow. If I pick up this bakugan laying right next to me and put it into the toy container, somehow it will climb out of the container while I am sleeping and inevitably roll into the hallway just in the perfect place to step on as I walk out of the bedroom tomorrow morning!
I fixed the toilet the other night. I won't have to fix it again any time soon. I got rid of the washer that was flooding the laundry room and got a new one... I won't have to go that again any time soon. I planted my garden a few weeks ago. I get to watch it grow, but no real disasters ever occur there everyday. When I put things together, they don't come undone. When I hung the swing, it stayed there.
When I put sheets on the bed, they get peed on the same night and I change them and start over everyday. When I make the boys a meal, the first thing they do is complain about it, then they eat 1/8th of the food, and somehow get the rest all over themselves and the table. I put a vinyl table cloth under the table to catch their mess. Yep, not on the table, I put it under the table.
No offense men....well, nevermind...that offense.... I don't really care anymore. Doing a job that is new each time even though it may be challenging, is still easier/less boring than picking up the same toy for the billionth time, doing dishes nonstop, laundry nonstop.....cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry....I am not a housewife. I guess I can only call myself a Mom that stays at home. But, I would love to say that I am the CEO of this mofo.
Grant asked me why I don't work. He asked me why I don't have a job. Is it wrong to tell your son to "suck it"? J/K I wouldn't really do that. I just think that is wrong for our society to teach the kids that for a Mom to choose to be at home she must be doing nothing. For the people I just offended. Don't forget I did work before. I worked at the hospital in the ER. I drove the ambulance. I went for many days on less sleep than I do now. I watched people die. I helped people live. It was a constant adrenaline rush. Yeah, this job of Mom who stays at home.....the hardest job I've ever had and I swear I will ever have again.
I guess I am just grieving for the life and respect I feel I lost because I thought I was making the right choice. (The following does not apply to KW b/c she rocks!) I saw some professionals in the community at different times recently. They were all training for a half-marathon, triathlon, marathon....I'll admit it I got pissed. The first thing I thought was. Gee, must be hard to find time to exercise when your kids are at daycare. Must be hard to find time to workout when you can depend on your spouse to help you watch your kids when you need a break. But, oh, we wouldn't want to be dependent would we?
Wow. I should have stopped typing a long time ago. Let's see who else can I offend....
Ummm, yeah... and the pope sucks, Packers rule, people who can get their nails done and keep them looking nice don't do anything other then play with their iphone and itouch, bobble heads are jerks, and diet soda will end up making you gain more weight than regular :-P For those of you who know me, you will not be offended because you will know I am just making fun of myself and joking around about my bad attitude, but for those of you who are reading this and going, "Oh, my GOD, what a jerk!" Do me a favor. Please stop reading my blog.
The Lilacs and the break pads
Seven years ago today, on a beautiful day like today. All of my family was gathered together beside my Grandpa. I was lucky because I got to hold his hand and rest my head on his chest to hear the last strong beat of the largest heart and strongest heart to ever exist. I really miss him. I can't help but think of May 3rd as a day of memories. I smell lilacs and I think of the flowers by his bed. I think his smile and his laugh. Even before he was completely unable to respond due to the morphine, he was still making mild jokes and smiling. I honor you today Grandpa for all the wonderful things you made possible in my life. I honor you for all the laughter, silliness, love and encouragement. I honor you for your integrity and your compassion. I honor you for your encouragement for teaching me to be a strong and capable woman. Thank you for teaching me how to change my own oil, check and change my own break pads, teaching me how to drive a tractor, dump truck, mower and bike and so very many more things. Thank you for always providing a safe place for me. I still am amazed at the passion and love you shared with Grandma until the very end. I love you so much and I think of you everyday. I see you in so many things. That is how a life should be lived. That is how you know if you truly love someone...they live on in your heart, your mind, your soul....forever. Squeeze- Squeeze- Squeeze. I'll see you on the other side. Until then, oh, how I deeply miss you.
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