Life is hard boys. Really hard. No one really talks about the hard stuff- it is perceived in this society as complaining or weakness, especially when it comes from boys. I, as your mother, will never feel that sharing your feelings shows a lack of masculinity, weakness and in most cases I won't see it as a form of complaining. It is quite the opposite my loves- I will feel as if you have the whole piece of the puzzle that this complication of our life seems to be. My point has a direction this time- as I hope you are able to follow most of them.
I am going to share genuine feelings that I simply cannot shake. The simple fact that I shared that statement would send some into a tizzy. We will be a different folk. We will have sympathy, empathy, love, compassion, and we won't forget what value lies in the importance of shaking loose these feelings and not trying to stuff them deep inside.
I have been hearing myself say lately. "It all seems so simple to me- the shortest distance between two points is in a straight line- so why don't we just stop avoiding this issue right now and deal with it?" Sometimes I laugh as I visualized the saying "shove it under the rug" meaning to hide something that bothers us or embarrasses us in order to avoid it all-together. I laugh because I see those things as the so called "elephants in the room" which means something so big and abnormal you can't ignore it.
Picture this: You are in a room simply trying to go about your normal day or have a conversation when all of the sudden an elephant walks into the room! The elephant in my story is of course the problem that needs to be dealt with. Well, there are a few options. Some people would ignore it- (or at least pretend they couldn't see it so they wouldn't have to deal with it.) Some people would run screaming from the room because well- an elephant is one huge problem when it inside of a room. I suppose one could fear being crushed by it. Some would grab the rug in the room and try desperately to shove that elephant under the rug. You sit and watch as a giant lumpy and noisy elephant squirms around under the rug and think to yourself- why didn't anyone just talk about the problem that there was an elephant in the room and it needed to be removed? So you have a choice. You could walk away knowing that if you go back that elephant very well may be underneath that rug every single time you walk into that room or you could whip that rug off of that elephant, tell everyone there: "There is an elephant in this living room! What should we do to get rid of it?" In real life this would be like bringing up a subject that nobody wants to talk about that needs to be talked about. So there will be some people who refuse to help solve the problem, some people will claim there is no elephant and you may for one moment feel as if you could be crazy, if it hadn't been for the one person who ran screaming from the room!
You know the problem is there and you think to yourself "we need to solve this". As everyone looks at you to make the next move; you decide to remove the elephant the only way that seems appealing to you...you whip that carpet right off of that poor elephant, climb up on top of it and ride it right out of the room. In real life this would mean: the problem may not be yours but you know that the only way out of the problem is to walk it right out of the room. You can bring it up, let them know you know it is there, calm those who are scared and propose ideas for those who want to be involved in solving the problem. Give them opportunity to rise to the occasion. When all else fails, I suggest riding that elephant right out of that room and solving the issue right then and there. Did you go around the issue and ignore it? No. Did you address the issue directly and move straight through it? Yes. And which in life do you think would provide the best results in the end? I say elephant riding all the way boys! Don't assume however that everyone will be happy with your choice, but understand that it very well may be the healthiest, safest and most productive manor in which one could ever solve the age old issue of the elephant in the room (or under the rug!)
May you always have the courage to ride the elephant even when I may have not always shown you how to do it. I will work harder at this task Grant and Jake because a healthy family is one that is open and one that keeps the elephants out of the house and definitely not hidden under the rugs :-)
Love Always,
Mom
