Thank You Judy

Thank you Judy for telling me to go for a walk and that you had the boys covered, no questions asked. I didn't have to ask or plan or arrange to refuel in the only way my body and mind have ever really been able to recover. It has been months since I have had the chance. She will never know the gift she gave me and I know I will never forget it.
It makes me think about this odd situation that occurred while at the in-laws the other day. Grant, Jake and I went down to the creek with a bucket and a small net to catch minnows. A young girl rides up to us and asks if she can help. I knew from the get go that she was off- her body language didn't match her apparent age. Grant and Jake accepted her in immediately as I guess I always taught them to do. It was a time I wish I had not. As I took a step back I watched the three in action. Grant is amazing at catching anything. He knows how to sit patiently and wait for the perfect time. He was watching the pattern and the path that the minnows were following. He picked a spot right in the middle of their path low to the creek where he could keep his feet stable. Just as the minnows began their path back to Grant's location this little girl grabbed the net out of Jake's hand and ran down the bank and smacked the water. Grant tilted his head to the side, (I'm still not sure Grant understands the concept that people would do things to people just for the sake of pure mean intention), Jake then yells, "Did you catch them!?" And this little girl with such practiced ease, lied quicker than your last breath, "yep, all of them!" So even though Grant is confused, he dislodges his secure location to go see. Just then I watch as the minnows fly past. It hit me as she grabbed the net her intentions where not good. Then when I saw her simply smack the water and claim she now had all of the minnows enough to distract Grant from his spot, it was clear what her intentions were. Quite skilled at manipulation and lying this one 7 year old child seemed to be.
I still let Grant handle the situation for a bit longer. He runs up to the girl but she already is heading back to his perfect waiting location where he has just dislodged himself from. "Let me see them!" Grant begs! "Na." the girl replies. "But why not?" Grant asks as the beginnings of tears form in his eyes, so I said, "She won't show them to you Grant because she never caught any. She was trying to steal your spot. She saw you had found the perfect spot to find the minnows and figured a way to get you out. Isn't that right young lady?" She looked at me for only a second- she showed no expression, regret, remorse, nothing....she just continued on. So I walked over and asked for our net back. She wanted to know why I needed it. I told her that my boys and I came to the creek to spend time together catching minnows, fish, or frogs, and we needed our net. She asked if she could help. I said it would help if she just watched. Inside of a giant culvert that went under the street, Grant and I watched an actual fish swim slowly along. We both sensed the same urgency and stepped into the knee high water with the net. We ignored the jumping frogs and netted out the fish. It was one of those moments where you think to yourself, "I am going to remember this!" Grant and I were giggling and Jake was standing on the banks laughing and jumping up and down. These are the things I want to be doing with my boys. So we climb out of the culvert and onto the side of the street to get a better look at the fish. It was certainly a fish that didn't belong in the creek. I think it was a bluegill...but it was hard to tell because he was covered in contaminates. I told the boys we needed to get the fish back to Grandma and Grandpa's to clean it up so it could breathe better. The girl tells us she is going to follow us. I roll my eyes to myself. Jake says, "yeah, come on!" We get up to the house and fill a bucket with fresh water and put our new fish inside. I gently cleaned him off with my hands and saw that he had a scratch on his side. I made sure the wound was clean, but was not very hopeful for the fish. However, the longer the fish was in the bucket the more he swam around and the faster he began to move. He started to feel better as you could clearly see. He needed out of the contaminated city creek water if he was ever going to survive. I was a bit hopeful after he ate some bread crumbs and when the boys brought him worms he nibbled on the little fishing worms. Soon after I told the boys that we needed to go inside for supper because the girl just would not leave and she had begun to wander around the yard. Then she said, I can come in too! "No, no you can't because this is not MY home and I can't invite people into someone else's home." She never quit asking and I'm sure the boys were shocked as I basically just left her outside and shoved him inside. I thought that would be enough to make her leave. Apparently, Grant was watching her from the window and he told Jake and I that she left and then came back, took our fish out of the bucket and ran away. I was furious! I grabbed Jake who was instantly crying and Grant and we walked onto the front porch. I waited until I saw her again coming from the yard of the little boy who lived two houses down. Then she tried to run off. I was so mad. I yelled, "HEY, YOUNG LADY, GET OVER HERE! She slowly walked over holding a limp fish.
"DO YOU LIVE HERE?"
" no."
"WAS THAT YOUR FISH?"
"no."
" DID WE GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO TAKE THE FISH?"
"no, but...."
"YOU BETTER HAVE A VERY GOOD REASON BECAUSE THAT FISH IS OBVIOUSLY DEAD NOW AND IT WAS ALIVE WHEN IT LEFT HERE. MY SON IS CRYING HIS EYES OUT AND YOU, WELL YOU BETTER HAVE A VERY GOOD REASON."
"i....i....i....was just going to show people our fish."
"OUR FISH?"
"your fish."
"YOU NEED TO LEAVE THIS PROPERTY AND DO NOT GO INTO ANYBODY ELSE'S YARDS TO TAKE THINGS THAT ARE NOT YOURS WITHOUT PERMISSION EVER AGAIN...DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"
"NOW HAND ME THE FISH."
The girl gave me the fish and it was covered in sawdust with tiny pieces of wood sticking out of its body and its eyes. Then Grant was more upset and it had to be buried right then. I don't remember the last time I was so angry at a child that knew better then when another child asked to see Grant's prized grasshopper. The grasshopper he had chased around all day and was so excited to show his friend. His friend grabbed it and scrunched his hand into a fist and killed it right in front of Grant! Oh how that anger made my heart bleed. My sons pain for that particular incident was unforgettable to him.
So right before the fish was buried, (I think Grandpa Rick ended up doing it), I looked at it first and felt a bond with it that made me want to vomit.
This wounded fish covered in contamination was pulled from a contaminated creek and cleaned as best as it could be cleaned. He was injured but had a chance to recover. Then someone who had no connection to this healing fish came and selfishly stole it from its healing grounds. The fish was helpless. The fist no longer had a chance because the interfering force didn't see the fish as a living, breathing thing, they saw it as something to use, to own, to make that force appear stronger. The the fish was so battered in such a short period of time with no one there to protect it....it died. What was already weakened, couldn't fight anymore.
Some kids are sick-emotionally and sick-psychologically. We fear for them and pray for their recovery.
What happens when those sick kids grow into adults and are still doing the same things they were as children, but now on a grander scale. They crush dreams, steal hope, burn down your courage, and tear apart your will?
But then, in rare moments, comes along a walking, talking angel who may not know it but by saying or doing that one thing that may have changed everything! "Your turn Jo, go for a walk, we have the boys." I didn't have to arrange, plan ahead, beg, make excuses or anything to get what that fish from the creek needed when we pulled him out and put him into his safe, new and clean water. A chance to feel alive and renewed once again.

Metaphorical Dilemma Conversation

I need my cup refilled. Where is that metaphorical waiter when you need him?
I need the light at the end of the tunnel re-lit!
I need to find "it" so I can let her go- I didn't know I had her in my possession!
I'm not a control freak I just can't handle the thought of someone controlling me, so I take the first step!
I can't just give "it" to God- when I never really "had 'it' or created 'it' in the first place"; "it" wasn't mine to give. Also why would I want to give God such a piece of poo?
That's were my mind has been all morning- thus how productive I have been.

Sitting still...at a job?

Part of this job working with my Dad is to hurry up and wait. I always feel like I shouldn't be paid to sit around and wait for the next truck, even if it is part of the job. I'm not used to sitting around doing nothing- which is why I brought my computer to work. I figured I could work on some writing and health projects I have been working on.
I do an awful lot of sitting and then when the work comes it is supercharged, fast and secretly insanely terrifying work. Yes, this comes from the girl who isn't afraid of driving fast, heights, sudden life changes, trying new things, public speaking, bugs, worms and other creatures....but I am terrified I am going to do something wrong here and ruin my father's dream. I'm terrified to disappoint people. It makes me think about the first blood draw I had to do on someone in the ER after I learned. I was good at it. I felt confident. They said, I hate these, please say you know what you are doing, I did know what I was doing, but how could I tell that person that he was my first real patient. "Oh don't you worry- I've got this hun, just look the other way if this sort of thing bothers you, it will be over in a flash..." Oh, how my heart was pounding. Needle straight in perfect blood draw, he never even felt it...sweet.
My Dad has never wanted to do anything else with his life and has always known that he would be farming. He went to college and then got his masters and then came a few credits shy of his doctorate, all while still farming. He is the most technologically driven farmer I ever knew existed.
I know companies farm with such technology. But some don't even think of the things Dad comes up with. I sit here and listen to him talk to the electrician/engineer (the human computer) and he designs these ways to make this whole farming production faster, easier, less dependent on outside resources....just anything and everything I or others would have never thought of trying.
Right now Grandpa Jake is looking down on him and taking notes. I don't know why he would be taking notes in heaven, he was just that way. If there was a piece of new information the man had to have it....just like Dad. It makes me think about true intelligence. While I have always known my father was brilliant, he hasn't. And while I always knew my Grandfather was brilliant, he never believed it. Dad was a C average student with a straight A capability. He just wanted to farm and back then....he didn't think he needed to go to school to farm. He has always said that when Grandma and Grandpa Reinhardt got him his truck it was the only thing that kept him in school. I look at him now and see brilliance. Grandpa Melton never went on past 9th grade. He stopped school to help on the family farm. He was always disappointed that he never continued his education. In the end, Grandpa had taught himself through life and self-discipline so much more than any of the highest degrees could have ever taught him. He never stopped learning. He loved knowledge. He was passionate about it. I see that in my Dad. It find that interesting that Mom fell in love with someone so similar in so many ways to her father. Don't get me wrong though, they are also very different. Grandpa was a talker. Dad isn't. Dad can't sit still through the winter so he works a job in the winter with worse hours than farming. Grandpa was able to kick back in his chair when he needed to rest. Grandpa spoke his mind (he did it with respect- unlike me). Dad lets it eat at him from the inside out. Grandpa was skinny during harvest and heavy during the winter. Dad is skinny all of the time. The one thing that oddly sticks out in my mind that is strikingly similar to both my Grandpa and my Dad are their displays of affection for their wives. Never have my parents found a place inappropriate for a kiss, hug or hand holding. I always noticed it. I loved it. Grandpa always called Grandma, "Honeybuns" and would give her behind a little swat when she was doing the dishes and a kiss on her cheek....Oh how she would kill me if she knew that I wrote this for the world to see. He always told her he loved her, hugged her, kissed her, and in the end he turned his last glance to her. I know it has nothing to do with farming, but maybe it has something to do with who I am.
Anyway, back to intelligence....I will always believe that the smartest people are the ones who, when they don't have the answers, know how to seek the answers out. Sounds simple right? Nope. For example, I once had a doctor I thought was a total jerk because he obviously didn't have the answers, nobody had them at the time, but he made them up to try and look as if he knew what he was talking about. I never went back. All he would have had to say was "I don't know the answer, but I will find out for you and get back to you right away. And if I can't I will find someone who knows the answer for you." That would be someone who was incredibly intelligent! Who knows all of the answers? If you think you do, then you don't know all of the answers do you....?
My Dad would be on the the front cover of any book I wrote on this subject. It isn't as if he goes around saying, "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know..." I finally figured out why he is so quiet. He is figuring out how he will find out. Or he is looking for the perfect answer in the billions of files residing inside his brain. Or well, he is cussing you out silently. Just kidding....or am I?

So, I sit here with too much power in my hands to ruin it all and not enough information to feel like I can keep it from crumbling. Mom and Dad obviously feel confident that I know what I am doing or they wouldn't have put me in such a place. So I thought today that I would do what all people should do when they don't know the answer. PANIC! Na.... I decided to ask more questions. There was only one problem with that. How do you ask questions to someone who doesn't talk? Good thing I figured out how to read most of Dad's mind in the years since Grandpa died. Until then I had never given my Dad a fair chance. I had never tried to really get to know him. I was a jerk. He came in to our lives like a knight in shining armor when I was about six. He married Mom when I was 11 and then adopted Dan and I to then show we are his children- no questions asked...and he had never been anything other than a great father. Yet, I had already been raised with Grandpa Jake. I had this attachment to him. I had that role filled. It was unfair to Dad. As an adult I feel terrible for not allowing him into my life further. When I did let Dad in, I realized how much I understood him, how much I enjoyed being around him- and most importantly how much he has always loved me. I can't go back to change the past. But, looking into my future- I know I can see our relationship only growing more solid. I know Dad doesn't have the time to read my blog, but if you ever read this Dad- I know I tell you this a lot, but, I really love you, all you have done for me, and for everything you are.

Healthnut drinking Mt. Dew like water says what?

Dear Mt. Dew my love,

Considering the recent kidney stone approaching. I feel as if I must tell you that our time together was oh so sweet, energizing and refreshing, but has run out. Oh Mt. Dew, why must you taste so good? You have given me the energy throughout the years to stay awake and deal with the sleepless nights that raising two boys caused. Your green plastic bottle was a wonderful toy for Grant as a baby and he learned to call you "mommy's milk" before he could say many other things. I still wonder if that constant green color of your emerald glow is what drew Grant to love the color green and all things that are green. I remember the first time Grant stole my can full of you and stood right in front of me to drink your sweetness. I was so mad. I told him that you were mine. I remember asking the doctor when I was pregnant with Jake how many can's of your sweetness I could have a day. I was allowed one. Oh, how I desperately wanted more. When Jake was old enough to run he too began to steal my cans of mt dew. Unlike Grant who stood in front of me to taste your wonderful sweet taste, he ran, holding you in his hand and you spilled all over the floor as he ran. I couldn't help but laugh at his desperation to get to you, as I have felt the same at times. I don't know how I am going to make it without you.... but, I will simply have to try. I must move on. The pain that you can cause to my kidney's is unbearable. You must understand that I never meant to hurt you my sweet and bubbly goodness, I was just too selfish and wanted you all to myself. You can't honestly say that you and I are really all that good together. You make my heart skip beats, you give me sleepless nights, you make me shake and cause my stomach to burn. Love shouldn't hurt so bad. And you know how I feel about that yellow food dye you always insisted I accept into this relationship. I must thank you though for your help when I needed it and for some odd reason not giving me cavities even though I often kept you by my bedside. Guess my genetics and my non-Appalachian heritage has helped in that area. I know what you have done to those poor people. I tried to pretend I didn't notice those toothless smiles, but I did mt. dew.....i did.

Kidney Stone

As I sit here at my Dad's elevator waiting for the first grain truck to come through, (and it could be up to another hour), I will have to find something to occupy myself with. The unfortunate reminder of this physical pain I have been having lately is overwhelming my mind. The feelings of pain are getting closer and closer and this morning it dawned on me that it feels an awful lot like the beginnings of a kidney stone! Forgive me while I cuss...SH**! If you have ever had a kidney stone you feel like a pansy for any other time you complained about pain in your life, including labor. I have had two before. I feel like I am sitting here waiting to be shot. I am downing water and cranberry juice like I never have before. I am terrified. Seriously terrified. Another problem with kidney stones are that there is nothing doctors will do about them. If you get them on the weekend, which I have been so very lucky to have always done....they basically say over the phone...drink lots of water and cranberry juice. Then they will possibly prescribe you a antibiotic to ward off the possible infection caused by the stone scratching the urethra wall thus allowing bacteria to also invade. So then on top of a kidney stone you get a urinary tract infection which also happened to me both of the other times. Maybe other doctor's offices are nicer than ours....wait, I know other doctor's offices are nicer than ours. When the pain gets really bad I want someone to tranquilize me. Lord help me that I don't get stranded here at the elevator today with the kidney stone getting to the worst part. It happens suddenly and you can't do anything to stop it. I believe in emergency protocols. So as I sat here this morning I decided that if I get to that point I will simply call Mom and Dad and tell them I have to leave and then drive myself to the Monmouth urgent care. The worst part follows. The Monmouth Urgent Care Waiting Room is insanely full on the weekend. So I would have to wait forever to see the doctor anyway, even then I am not even sure those doctor's would do much of anything either. You just feel a fit of desperation when it hits and you have to do anything....anything you can to make it stop. Ok, I have to go pray for the rest of the day. Maybe you could pray for me too. I know any of you who have had a kidney stone.... already started praying without me having to tell you...

Just a blerb

I'm feeling the effects of the constant working so I think my blog will suffer tonight. I just wanted to mention some thoughts on today. I have to get up and work at my Dad's grain elevator tomorrow. I'm thinking about starting Dad's documentary tomorrow as well, we will see how well his workers behave ;-p
Today was my very first field trip as a mother. It was Grant's very first field trip as a kindergartner. One of the Mom's, who I rode to the pumpkin farm with, often said the things that I was either thinking or that I was in the process of verbalizing. Funny how antisocial me can find people that are so cool even when I shut myself off from the world most of the time. The comment that stuck with me was the one about dreading things before she got to them and not wanting to go, but when she got there she was always fine and ended up having a good time. Perfectly said my dear Matsey, perfectly said! I was glad to have had the chance to ride with the Mom's I rode with. I understand my personality doesn't always click with everyone's....ok I won't continue with that comment.
But I had a great time learning about these women and admiring them for who they are.
Mrs. Bear put me in charge of Grant, his best friend Massimo and another little boy who had an Armenian accent. So I had three crazy boys :-) and Two rockin' accents! Massimo is adorable and I can so how Grant and him are best friends. They walk around holding hands. I am not allowed to hug him in public but he can hold hands with his best friend. Little stinker. That's fine Grant I won't tell anyone how you still have to run your fingers through Mommy's hair to fall asleep when you have had a tough day. Opps! Did I tell it already, hehehe! Italians express love and emotion better than American in my opinion and I have always tried to help Grant realize that it is okay to express love and emotions. So I am wondering if he and Massimo are similar for that reason as well, that and their "crazy-optimistic- bright- eyed- take- on- the- world- and- ask- all-the- questions- because -I -have- to -know -it -all" type of personality. They are great. I felt like I got the greatest group of kids! At one point Massimo was talking about the Veggie Tales Pirate Movie and I started to whisper sing "We are the pirates who don't do anything...." His eyes got ever bigger and he said- "You like the Veggie Tales Too?!" Another little girl came up to me and asked if I was Grant's Mommy and I said "Yes...is that a good thing?" and she replied, "OH YES! And you are so prreeeeetttyyy!" I can't tell you how impressed I am with how well Mrs. Bear runs her class and with as many students as she has! I am also impressed with who she is as a person. She is the best possible teacher Grant could have had and I genuially feel blessed.
So, even though I dreaded the social aspect of the day. I made it, and not only made it, I enjoyed it. Jake got to play at his Tiffy's house and cried for only and hour when we left! I guess that means he had a good time and needed a nap.
Tomorrow the boys get to play on big Grant's playground because my friend Shannon is watching them while I work at the elevator. As a joke I plan on writing up a long list of rules and guidelines for her to follow to see the look on her face. Ahhhh, the time I take to screw around with Shannon. It is so worth my effort. Right now I am getting ready to wrap up a box of ground flax seed with wrapping paper and a bow b/c she always makes fun of me for being a health nut. I will give it to her and run before she has a chance to throw the box at me! MUUUUHHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAH! Oh, how I love tormenting her.
Well, off to evil things ;-p

"Penny" From Heaven

I heard this evening that the woman who taught me how to swim when I was a small child was killed on Saturday. The thing is that Penny was amazing. I can remember her beautiful face smiling at me when I was terrified to get into the water. I remember her hair, her eyes, her voice, her hands. Why is it that we remember some things in life so clearly and others fade away as quickly as they occur? Mom was going to WIU and sitting outside the pool to study. At one point, I was flailing around and basically fighting the idea of getting into the water and I swung my arm and hit her in the face. Mom remembers being horrified and Penny calmly told her that it was okay and that it happens. She remained calm. I don't think she was ever angry with either me or my brother during any of the swimming lessons or swimming adventures we had at the Aledo Public Pool. I cried when Mom told me because the last thing that I heard in my head when Mom said that she had died was an echo, almost like a movie flashback....
Penny's soft and encouraging voice says: "I've got you Turtle...don't worry, I won't let you go...." Mom was sitting on a bench on the other side of the chain-link fence and had a thick college text book on her lap. I think my swimming suit was white with swirls of colors all over it but mainly purple and red swirls. It was a one-piece swimming suit and I hated it. I was too long waisted for it. I was facing northeast and Penny was holding me tight with her arms under my armpits and her hands around my back. She was facing me. I think her swimming suit was black. Her hair was really long and beautiful. She was looking at me deep into my eyes with a promise and a confidence in me that I didn't know was even there yet. How could she see something that I didn't know I had? I don't think Dan and I would have ever been such good swimmers without Penny. Dan is amazing. He is fearless and always has been. You should have seen him on the diving board. We can thank Penny.
When Grant was traumatized by his swimming teacher because he said "please don't let me go, please don't let me go....!" and she said, "Oh, I won't!" then proceeded to take him to the middle of the pool and push him away and let go (in the only way I can rationalize it) to attempt to show him he could do it on his own....I about lunged into the water and smacked that teacher. Yep, I said that. Thank you swimming teacher for breaking my sons trust and therefore making him terrified of water thereafter. (NOT!) I can't tell you how may times I thought of Penny when we were struggling with Grant. He refused to get into the water so many times. One time he flat out ran from the pool, through the locker room straight to the car in only his swimming trunks with me trying to keep up!
We go about our lives after all the people who have molded us move on without knowing how much they affected our lives. I can't tell you how many times I think to myself, thank God I learned how to swim the right way and from such a great teacher. I remembered Penny all these years and to hear of her death was devastating. Yet, somehow the movie like echo of her voice that will forever play in my head will always be my Penny from heaven: "I've got you Turtle....don't worry....I won't let you go!"
Some people come into our lives for only a moment and change it forever.
Thank You Beautiful Penny.
October 4, 2010--A former Aledo woman has died following a head-on

collision in Warren County. 50 year old Penny McKinney-Green of Moline

was killed Saturday morning (October 2nd). Her sister, 55 year old

Mary Ann McKinney of Aledo was a passenger in the pick-up truck and

was injured. She was taken to Cottage Hospital in Galesburg. An

Illinois State Police news release indicates that the sisters were

traveling east bound on Illinois Route 116 near Roseville when a west

bound vehicle crossed the center line and collided with their truck.

The other driver, a 21 year old Macomb man was ticketed for driving

too fast for conditions. He told troopers he lost control due due to

wet pavement. All five occupants of the other car received only minor

injuries.

Topics Coming Soon:

Bullying
Cold/ Flu prevention at our house
Why I'm writing the blog
Accountability
Simplicity
Walk the Talk
The Children's Sermon Jack gave
What moves me
The evolution of family
Our twists on things: biting the bedbugs and dicombobulations with the whatnots
My Dad's farming Operation- Reinhardt Farms
Darren and I- Birthday makes me think of him
Oct. 9th Catie and my wet towels, her cookie dough, and our 9/11 tears-B-day makes me think of her
November! Amber- B-day coming up too
Nov. 21st Grandma- B-day reminds me of how blessed I am to have her in my life
Oct. 17th Jim- B-day reminds me of the evolution of my biggest "Pseudo-Brother"
Livestock and the only real thing about the farm Ted and I disagree about
God's placement of people on our lives
What I feel God "does" or "doesn't do"
Cigarettes, Alcohol and Texting/ cell phones
My newest list of favorite things
The status of our home that is in the prossess of being built
Health nut drinking mountain dew like water says what?
Anything else I should talk about hummmmmm? I'll think about it.

Dear Jo

Dear Jo,
I owe you an apology. We need to talk. I have let you down. I made you believe that your pain in this life and the trauma you endured made you less of a person. I lied to you. So now you have forgotten how strong you are. You are looking to others to tell you of the strength you so desperately want to have. Think of everything you have been through. They don't know about it all, and you can't blame them. But that's what makes you beautiful, show your true colors because they are beautiful like a rainbow... You can finally say it and you can finally believe it, you owe it to yourself after all, it has been 30 years of self-hate, time to realize that you are beautiful inside. I'm sorry I never told you enough. I'm sorry you gave your strength a second thought even for one second...Forgive me and we can conquer it all.
With love and grace,
Jo

This is the song I dedicate to you. Yet, not only to you, but to everyone who is holding themselves back from the things they fear. God never said standing for the things that were right would be without pain or suffering. But, as you lay down to sleep tonight be happy to know you can live with your desicions. I am proud of you.

You with the sad eyes


Don't be discouraged

Oh, I realize

It's hard to take courage

In a world full of people

You can lose sight of it all

And darkness still inside you

Make you feel so small

But I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors,

True colors, are beautiful,

Like a rainbow.
(Ah ah ah...)

Show me a smile then,

Don't be unhappy,

Can't remember when I last saw you laughing

If this world makes you crazy

And you've taken all you can bear

You call me up

Because you know I'll be there

And I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors,

True colors, are beautiful,

Like a rainbow

Ah ah ah ah...

Spoken: Can't remember when I last saw you laughing

If this world makes you crazy

You've taken all you can bear

You call me up (Call me up! )

Because you know I'll be there (Know I'll be there)

And I'll see your true colors

Shining through (I see them shining through! )

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you (That's why I love you! )

So don't be afraid (Afraid) to let them show

Your true colors, true colors

I see your true colors shining through (Yeah! )

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid (Afraid) to let them show

Your true colors

True colors, true colors

True colors, are beautiful,

Like a rainbow