What would Grandpa say?

Yes, he was was an amazing man. He never really got into arguments with anyone. He was respectable, didn't lose his temper in a public forum and never, never, disrespected his in-laws. He once told me before he died, never to insult or talk poorly of my spouses family to my spouse. He would be ashamed of me for how I dealt with the situation, however, I am not my Grandfather. I would love to be more like him and my Grandmother. Yet, there is one thing they taught me that I am fulfilling and I stand firm by this belief: "It may not always be easy to stand for what you believe in... and most certainly when the majority disagrees. You must follow your heart and know that God will lead you to the the right path in due time." I am never alone when I am with God.
As far as playing the "Grandpa would never have done that" card... he also said "just give them the 'chicken shit grin' ". I never did agree with that. Well, at least the way he said it. I also never agreed with slathering everything with butter, eating ice cream right before bed, hitching a shotgun to the tractor to shoot little critters while working in the field. I didn't agree with spraying every weed the yard with a toxic chemical pesticide he concocted himself! :-) So, yes, I adored him. But we are different.
We are also very similar. We love to laugh. His family always came first. He always told the people he loved that he loved them. He believed that you should never wait until your life was over to do what you love, and he loved doughnuts! Just to name a few.
I adore Grandma. She is a quiet and strong presence in my life. Her ears have burnt with my continually talking and jabbering since infantcy. She had stood back and allowed my stubborn nature mold me and never once judged me for it. The only times she would step in to disagree with me were in those moments I doubted myself or those moments when I was hard on my mother. I do disagree with her way of not discussing the important things when they really need to be discussed though. She has always loved to read my writings and has been the greatest encouragement when it came to writing how I truly felt. She always said that she has envied my ability to express exactly how I feel. We are different. Yet, we both are sensitive, we are great cookers, bakers, gardeners, we love to play cards together and we always annoy everyone else when we play because we naturally help each other in any game we play without thought.
They are proud of who I became. I have heard it many times my whole life. They don't mind that I am not like them. Grandpa is looking down on me and I'm sure that after his initial disappointment of my treatment of my in-laws, he would be proud of how I protect my children and the way I protect my husband even though there is adamant disagreement in that area from many. I watched people close to me when I was younger submit to abuse. I still see that in some of the people I love. Whenever, I feel threatened, cornered or the potential of becoming a victim or that my children will become victims I "bite" and I "bite hard" until I get my point across. I am sorry Mom (my real Mom) for not just leaving this all unsaid. You told me to be a bigger person and realize that they will come around or miss out, but to not play this victim anymore. So I am, but I had to explain why I did what I did and why I feel I was not wrong. What good would I be to this Earth and for God if I had nothing different to offer than what the rest of the world had to offer. I am different. Expect me to say different things, expect me to react differently to situations. The people who really know me and love me know what me intent is and know where my heart stands. I feel confident in this.
If all else fails I stand firm by my opening blog statement by Dr. Seuss- "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
Oh, I forgot another thing Grandpa used to say, "If you are embarassed or hurt by the outcome of a situation that you have done, then you shouldn't have done it in the first place.So I'm sorry, but you will have to get through this to get stronger." "If you don't want anyone to know something, don't do it." And the very last thing he ever said to me was, "If you are crying right now (as he lay dying in the hospital), you aren't crying for me, you are crying for yourself and that is a shame. And, hey if you could strech my arms out for me I could breathe better...and maybe I just might fly!" I miss you Grandpa. I'm sorry I let you down.