A Not So Happy Moment- I Must Give My Respect

I suppose there is that one moment when we all first realize our mortality. Yet, I guess I wasn’t ready to be reminded of it every day that I lived thereafter. I am not upset about it, I am rather grateful for it just as grateful as I am for the mess in my kitchen left from our meal: as annoyed and grateful as you can be at the same time that we had a full stomach and we never go hungry. I am as grateful as I am when my husband really believes that I don’t like Valentine’s Day, jewelry, or all of the other things I said so I wouldn’t stress him out. Now I just stress him out in so many other ways. At least I have him. At least I know he is sleeping safely downstairs. He may be sleeping when we are all awake and I may miss him desperately, but I know he is safe downstairs. He is here and we are safe.
I hate May. I know it is meant to be a month of birth and life but it has always been death to me. My Grandpa died May 3rd. A friend of mine in high school committed suicide in May. Back home, (Aledo, Quad-cities area) there have been 10 deaths due to car accidents recently. But there have been other things in other places. It all has made me feel very ungrateful and selfish and simply a self-absorbed, greedy, undeserving lucky woman….because I am.
A man lost his wife slowly to a disease that he couldn’t stop. His faith helped him stand strong when I’m sure his heart dissolved with pain. He is a pastor of a church and his church family loves him very much. It was a long and painful struggle, yet at the same time it happened all too fast. Mrs. Cheryl Dykstra has passed on. And my life goes on. http://mywebtimes.com/archives/ottawa/display.php?id=405292
A woman’s husband changed to third shift and when coming home one morning he crossed the center line after falling asleep to crash head on into a grain truck. He had three daughters and a wife waiting at home. One of his daughters has special needs. He died in three seconds. Mr. Michael McIntire has passed on. And my life goes on. http://www.aledotimesrecord.com/obituaries/x1540368500/Michael-McIntire
A man my age from Macomb, Eric Hill, whom I can only speak of as someone I knew of, although I felt so much closer to him, died recently in a terrible car accident. I can’t figure it out in my mind. We live in a town of 20,000 when students are here and I can go forever without seeing certain people. Yet, others seem to cross my path over and over again as if we walk the same path in life. A couple of days before he died or even on the same day…I can’t remember I ran past him as he was running down Maple Avenue. He was always running or working hard at something. Whenever we met eyes and said “hi” there was an acknowledgement that the other was fighting for something too. I asked Ted about him because I saw it in his eyes. Eric worked for Yin Cheng Restaurant for years as a waiter, and that is where people in this community began to see his hard work and dedication to everything he did. He was recently working as a private investigator. He was part of the National Guard and he apparently was just hired by border patrol. He had two small children. I think his daughter wasn’t even one yet. He was married the same year Ted and I were. I just want to walk up to the door of his house with tons of food for his wife. I want to walk inside and do her dishes or her laundry, or just give her a hug. I keep crying because I just found out he died and it happened two weeks ago so I missed the visitation and funeral and everything. He didn’t even know my name, but he didn’t have to, because I knew his. He was that type of person. Someone who walks around with a light around them and they aren’t even trying in the slightest. Mr. Eric Hill has passed. And my life goes on. http://www.mcdonoughvoice.com/Obituaries/x289816933/Eric-Hill