Healthnut drinking Mt. Dew like water says what?

Dear Mt. Dew my love,

Considering the recent kidney stone approaching. I feel as if I must tell you that our time together was oh so sweet, energizing and refreshing, but has run out. Oh Mt. Dew, why must you taste so good? You have given me the energy throughout the years to stay awake and deal with the sleepless nights that raising two boys caused. Your green plastic bottle was a wonderful toy for Grant as a baby and he learned to call you "mommy's milk" before he could say many other things. I still wonder if that constant green color of your emerald glow is what drew Grant to love the color green and all things that are green. I remember the first time Grant stole my can full of you and stood right in front of me to drink your sweetness. I was so mad. I told him that you were mine. I remember asking the doctor when I was pregnant with Jake how many can's of your sweetness I could have a day. I was allowed one. Oh, how I desperately wanted more. When Jake was old enough to run he too began to steal my cans of mt dew. Unlike Grant who stood in front of me to taste your wonderful sweet taste, he ran, holding you in his hand and you spilled all over the floor as he ran. I couldn't help but laugh at his desperation to get to you, as I have felt the same at times. I don't know how I am going to make it without you.... but, I will simply have to try. I must move on. The pain that you can cause to my kidney's is unbearable. You must understand that I never meant to hurt you my sweet and bubbly goodness, I was just too selfish and wanted you all to myself. You can't honestly say that you and I are really all that good together. You make my heart skip beats, you give me sleepless nights, you make me shake and cause my stomach to burn. Love shouldn't hurt so bad. And you know how I feel about that yellow food dye you always insisted I accept into this relationship. I must thank you though for your help when I needed it and for some odd reason not giving me cavities even though I often kept you by my bedside. Guess my genetics and my non-Appalachian heritage has helped in that area. I know what you have done to those poor people. I tried to pretend I didn't notice those toothless smiles, but I did mt. dew.....i did.