Thank You Judy

Thank you Judy for telling me to go for a walk and that you had the boys covered, no questions asked. I didn't have to ask or plan or arrange to refuel in the only way my body and mind have ever really been able to recover. It has been months since I have had the chance. She will never know the gift she gave me and I know I will never forget it.
It makes me think about this odd situation that occurred while at the in-laws the other day. Grant, Jake and I went down to the creek with a bucket and a small net to catch minnows. A young girl rides up to us and asks if she can help. I knew from the get go that she was off- her body language didn't match her apparent age. Grant and Jake accepted her in immediately as I guess I always taught them to do. It was a time I wish I had not. As I took a step back I watched the three in action. Grant is amazing at catching anything. He knows how to sit patiently and wait for the perfect time. He was watching the pattern and the path that the minnows were following. He picked a spot right in the middle of their path low to the creek where he could keep his feet stable. Just as the minnows began their path back to Grant's location this little girl grabbed the net out of Jake's hand and ran down the bank and smacked the water. Grant tilted his head to the side, (I'm still not sure Grant understands the concept that people would do things to people just for the sake of pure mean intention), Jake then yells, "Did you catch them!?" And this little girl with such practiced ease, lied quicker than your last breath, "yep, all of them!" So even though Grant is confused, he dislodges his secure location to go see. Just then I watch as the minnows fly past. It hit me as she grabbed the net her intentions where not good. Then when I saw her simply smack the water and claim she now had all of the minnows enough to distract Grant from his spot, it was clear what her intentions were. Quite skilled at manipulation and lying this one 7 year old child seemed to be.
I still let Grant handle the situation for a bit longer. He runs up to the girl but she already is heading back to his perfect waiting location where he has just dislodged himself from. "Let me see them!" Grant begs! "Na." the girl replies. "But why not?" Grant asks as the beginnings of tears form in his eyes, so I said, "She won't show them to you Grant because she never caught any. She was trying to steal your spot. She saw you had found the perfect spot to find the minnows and figured a way to get you out. Isn't that right young lady?" She looked at me for only a second- she showed no expression, regret, remorse, nothing....she just continued on. So I walked over and asked for our net back. She wanted to know why I needed it. I told her that my boys and I came to the creek to spend time together catching minnows, fish, or frogs, and we needed our net. She asked if she could help. I said it would help if she just watched. Inside of a giant culvert that went under the street, Grant and I watched an actual fish swim slowly along. We both sensed the same urgency and stepped into the knee high water with the net. We ignored the jumping frogs and netted out the fish. It was one of those moments where you think to yourself, "I am going to remember this!" Grant and I were giggling and Jake was standing on the banks laughing and jumping up and down. These are the things I want to be doing with my boys. So we climb out of the culvert and onto the side of the street to get a better look at the fish. It was certainly a fish that didn't belong in the creek. I think it was a bluegill...but it was hard to tell because he was covered in contaminates. I told the boys we needed to get the fish back to Grandma and Grandpa's to clean it up so it could breathe better. The girl tells us she is going to follow us. I roll my eyes to myself. Jake says, "yeah, come on!" We get up to the house and fill a bucket with fresh water and put our new fish inside. I gently cleaned him off with my hands and saw that he had a scratch on his side. I made sure the wound was clean, but was not very hopeful for the fish. However, the longer the fish was in the bucket the more he swam around and the faster he began to move. He started to feel better as you could clearly see. He needed out of the contaminated city creek water if he was ever going to survive. I was a bit hopeful after he ate some bread crumbs and when the boys brought him worms he nibbled on the little fishing worms. Soon after I told the boys that we needed to go inside for supper because the girl just would not leave and she had begun to wander around the yard. Then she said, I can come in too! "No, no you can't because this is not MY home and I can't invite people into someone else's home." She never quit asking and I'm sure the boys were shocked as I basically just left her outside and shoved him inside. I thought that would be enough to make her leave. Apparently, Grant was watching her from the window and he told Jake and I that she left and then came back, took our fish out of the bucket and ran away. I was furious! I grabbed Jake who was instantly crying and Grant and we walked onto the front porch. I waited until I saw her again coming from the yard of the little boy who lived two houses down. Then she tried to run off. I was so mad. I yelled, "HEY, YOUNG LADY, GET OVER HERE! She slowly walked over holding a limp fish.
"DO YOU LIVE HERE?"
" no."
"WAS THAT YOUR FISH?"
"no."
" DID WE GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO TAKE THE FISH?"
"no, but...."
"YOU BETTER HAVE A VERY GOOD REASON BECAUSE THAT FISH IS OBVIOUSLY DEAD NOW AND IT WAS ALIVE WHEN IT LEFT HERE. MY SON IS CRYING HIS EYES OUT AND YOU, WELL YOU BETTER HAVE A VERY GOOD REASON."
"i....i....i....was just going to show people our fish."
"OUR FISH?"
"your fish."
"YOU NEED TO LEAVE THIS PROPERTY AND DO NOT GO INTO ANYBODY ELSE'S YARDS TO TAKE THINGS THAT ARE NOT YOURS WITHOUT PERMISSION EVER AGAIN...DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"
"NOW HAND ME THE FISH."
The girl gave me the fish and it was covered in sawdust with tiny pieces of wood sticking out of its body and its eyes. Then Grant was more upset and it had to be buried right then. I don't remember the last time I was so angry at a child that knew better then when another child asked to see Grant's prized grasshopper. The grasshopper he had chased around all day and was so excited to show his friend. His friend grabbed it and scrunched his hand into a fist and killed it right in front of Grant! Oh how that anger made my heart bleed. My sons pain for that particular incident was unforgettable to him.
So right before the fish was buried, (I think Grandpa Rick ended up doing it), I looked at it first and felt a bond with it that made me want to vomit.
This wounded fish covered in contamination was pulled from a contaminated creek and cleaned as best as it could be cleaned. He was injured but had a chance to recover. Then someone who had no connection to this healing fish came and selfishly stole it from its healing grounds. The fish was helpless. The fist no longer had a chance because the interfering force didn't see the fish as a living, breathing thing, they saw it as something to use, to own, to make that force appear stronger. The the fish was so battered in such a short period of time with no one there to protect it....it died. What was already weakened, couldn't fight anymore.
Some kids are sick-emotionally and sick-psychologically. We fear for them and pray for their recovery.
What happens when those sick kids grow into adults and are still doing the same things they were as children, but now on a grander scale. They crush dreams, steal hope, burn down your courage, and tear apart your will?
But then, in rare moments, comes along a walking, talking angel who may not know it but by saying or doing that one thing that may have changed everything! "Your turn Jo, go for a walk, we have the boys." I didn't have to arrange, plan ahead, beg, make excuses or anything to get what that fish from the creek needed when we pulled him out and put him into his safe, new and clean water. A chance to feel alive and renewed once again.