What exhaustion does to Jo- If you want optimism DON'T LOOK HERE!

Too much pressure on the inside
all of the time....
This misery of mine
Makes me want to hide
Somethings gotta give....
Something will have to slide.
1st job, 2nd job, 3rd job?
And what are these crazy hours I keep?
every moment of the day scheduled out
even these moments needed for sleep.
When does it stop?
When can you see I am going to break?
Do you feel better now as I fell
down to the pits of despair?
And as I climb out of here
out of these depths of hell...
Will you reach for my hand and pull me on up
or will you turn your back on me-
while drinking pride from that cup?
Will you watch your flaming words?
I'm more fragile than a balancing act-
10,000 stories high.
What seems so small an innocent -
can make a grown woman cry.

BLAH! BTW- No it isn't a requirement that people be happy all the time or be happy just because you desperately imply they do so....Did you know that the more you push someone to be happy when they are not, makes them more resistant and often leads them to feel worse when the guilt sets in.
When my five year old son cries and gets embarrassed for doing so, I say to him, "don't feel ashamed for feeling those feelings honey, what you feel is real. Let it come right thru you and out to the other side. Sometimes crying gets all of the mad and the sad out." So forgive me please while I feel what I feel as it is real. I have to let it come right thru me to the other side. In doing so, I may say these words and they may seem harsh, but they are real and I need to get all of my mad and sad out.