Oh Jake...Jake....Jake...Jake

In a split rare second of silence last night Jake was standing in the middle of the living room. He seized his moment. He picked up a piece of paper, tore it in half, with an angry look on his face and the drama of a Broadway star. He threw it to the floor and in one swift move turned and stopped away while saying, "THAT'S IT! I'M MOVING OUT!"
Ted, Grant and I were sitting on the couch watching TV shortly before supper while the fury of a storm was passing outside. I'm sure in reading this one would quickly ask themselves, "How does a two year old know this phrase? I wonder if Ted and Jo fight a lot?" Hardly. Well, at least not verbally. I am passive-hostile and Ted is a conflict avoider, wait that didn't really explain it...Ted is a conflict ignorer! Whatever works for you baby. I love you. (Seriously, there is nothing worth being truly mad at him about- get to know him and you will know what I mean. Couldn't be a better man...)
Ted, Grant and I instantly understood and laughed at his performance. He did quite a great re-creation! I admit, there is an obsession in this house with iCarly, Wizards of Waverly Place and Phineas and Ferb. I know...ideally I wouldn't let them watch so much TV. Right. In an ideal world, in a cooler climate, in a time when Mommy and Daddy weren't pulling through the stresses of life by our teeth we wouldn't have the Disney channel on all day.
At some point recently Jake saw a repeat of an iCarly episode called "i Move Out" Where one of the main characters moves out of the apartment that he shares with his mother, Mrs. Benson, because her wild and crazy OCD is driving him nuts. At some point he says "that's it, I'm moving out", thus the reason for sir showman.
iCarly was the craze around here for awhile, but we have seen all the episodes so until the new episodes come on, we continue our new obsession with Wizards of Waverly Place. I must say it is nice to not have Grant calling me Mrs. Benson all of the time, but moving onto "crazy lady" isn't that much better!
A couple of weeks ago Jake came running up to Grant and I with a crazy fierce look on his face and a coaching whistle in his mouth. He blows it at us and yells as he points into the room with the time out chair, "GO TO DETENTION!"  he yells. I can guess he got this from Wizards because the main character, Alex, is a trouble maker and often getting detention. It could have been Sam off of iCarly who also spent quite a bit of time in detention. I worry about him. Not that he will get into real trouble, he cries when anyone looks at him cross. I worry he will not be ready for school because of how much I have slacked on skills with him. I worried about Grant so this isn't new for me. Now I know my worry for Grant about educational development was sooooo unwarranted. I just didn't have anything to compare him to until he went to school. But Grant had all of my attention all of the time. I was looking in a baby book for Grant, (poor Jake's info stopped at nine months), and Grant had memorized nursery rhymes, knew his ABC song, and could count to 10. He could count to 8 in spanish! He knew his colors, and spoke like he was much older. Dang! Jake knows his favorite color is orange and none of the other colors matter. He is the type of kid that put the circle shape onto the square hole on top of the shape sorter and then smashed it with his hand while I told him it didn't go into that hole. He would keep going until it finally smashed all the way through and he would tilt his head to the side and look at me like, "Ha, you were wrong and I was right!" He knows how to count to five because Grant is five and at his next birthday he is planning on being five also. He has no desire to be three or four it is time for five. He knows more about Star Wars than most adults. I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up and he said Count Docu (Star Wars character I probably spelled wrong), or a monster. Then he said he wanted to be Han Solo too but I had to be Chewbacca. I asked him if he was going to have kids and he said he was going to have two boys. I said, "I'm sorry". I asked what he was going to name them and he said, "Deacon (Kelly and Lucas's son) and Daddy". He threw a one hour temper tantrum because I asked if he could wipe up his mess with a paper towel. He did it again because he went to the bathroom and forgot to let him flush the toilet, then he did it again because he thought I left him outside when I was sitting on the deck. He is irrational and passionate about everything. If we walk down an isle at the store and something has fallen off the shelf before we have even arrived, he will flip out if we don't put it back. He won't do anything if you tell him to, but if you say it differently and he thinks he made the decision himself, he will. He is obsessed with mints and can smell anyone who has eaten one or is eating one. He doesn't trust anyone. We butt heads like crazy. He is just like me- who is just like my Mom ,(who is like her father), and Grandmother, (who is an awful lot like her mother). I'm sorry Jake but generations of this unique mold are going to be an intense rollarcoaster. Hold on little one, hold on. Wait, what am I talking about, I better hold on!