If I had three wishes...

Dear Boys, 
Of course, if I had three wishes I would wish for a lifetime supply of wishes...but my very first three say the most about me and I would like to think they may say the most about you. 
Maybe this is a bad time to write this blog entry considering you, Grant, have just asked me 12 questions in a row....10 of which were the very same question. Oh, you little stinker! I would love to use one of my wishes for you to have had to go to school on Thanksgiving Break! On some days keeping you two boys busy is like running a business! I'm not saying that I want you to go away, but please dear child simmer down now!
My very first three wishes are quite complicated. Yet, I know first and foremost they would involve you two boys.

Wish #1: CHARACTER: I want the very most important things in your life not to be things. I also want this for myself and your father. I want for you to care more about how you treat others and express empathy/sympathy and kindness than getting the perfect score on a test or in a game. I also want this for myself and your father. If you focus on those things it will be utterly surprising how simple the rest will fall into place. Be VERY slow to anger and listen more than you speak. I also want this for myself and for your father. Family is more important than work, yet to support your family you must work, so finding your balance will be vital to a happy marriage and setting a great example to your children. I also want this for myself and for your father. Always remember "PEOPLE are more important than things".

Wish #2: HEALTH: First you must know the definition of health. Since I know a bit about this area I can remember the definition from college as it was repeated over and over again...."Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity." I wish for you both to remember that everything you put into your body affects your entire being in some way. It may not be immediate but it will affect it eventually. Science cannot, at this point in time, even know what some of the things we do, eat, or use in our lives will result in at later times. Currently the number one killer of both men and women is heart disease. Although I do believe that lung cancer his quickly coming upon the two. You have genetic history on both sides for heart disease and you both already have tastes for things that make me cringe. Grant- if I ever see you take a bite out of a stick of butter again I think I will have a heart attack myself!
But, I must apologize to both of you for setting such a terrible example for exercise. Back when Grant was little, (2-4, and the years before we had children), Daddy and I were very active when I was able and not pregnant :-). Daddy and I love to lift weights and run. We would do it everyday if we had the chance. The problem is that statement I just made: "If we had the chance...." We always seem to find the time to do the things we really care about. So look at it this way: Nothing else I love to do can be fully enjoyed if I don't first take care of the very thing that allows me to enjoy those things. What happens to our cars if we don't change the oil- the engine burns up and the car becomes useless. You can replace an engine, you can't replace you. You can fix some health problems but why ever get to the point of having to fix something that you knew how to take care of in the first place. You will hear me say this a whole lot: "Most doctors spend their time on tertiary care (fixing what's broken- i.e. high cholesterol, type 2 diabetes, etc.) than on patients who are coming in for primary care (preventative medicine, i.e. check-ups/ physicals, mammograms, colonoscopies, blood work, etc.) Never make an excuse to put health on the back burner...because just as I said for the affects of kindness- the rest will fall into place. The times when Daddy and I remain the most focused, happy and healthy are times when we make time for exercise. Right after my diagnosis and radical hysterectomy I began to lift my muscles, slowly at first and then I was able to run, we played soccer in the back yard. Do you remember those days that summer...they were the best days of my life! Soon thereafter I was lifting and running like I had been born again. I entered a race and placed forth! All I could say was "Thank you God that I found my disease so early and didn't have to have chemo or radiation!" I was so amazed that I was in the best shape of my life only 4 months after a major physical and emotional change in my life. I wanted more children, but all I could think of was how lucky I was to be healthy for the two blessings that I had...YOU! While we were building our new home in the country, we let the stress and anxiety from the whole experience deter us from our exercise routine. We will get back soon so you will have a chance to witness the example rather than  the common theme of : "do as I say and not as I do." :-)
Since I feel that faith is a major part of your health I have to mention the importance of your faith in God. As annoying as it sounds to you or maybe it won't (you may not be like me and go through the rough patches in faith that I have had)- finding a church family that you feel at home with is such a vital part of your spiritual health. After years of trying to figure out my faith walk, I now find it to be such an important role in my psychological, and emotional health as well. You may struggle finding a place that shares the same beliefs you have or a place that accepts your passion or excitement for new and exciting changes (if you are at all like you mother). But, don't let it hurt your relationship with God- he isn't the one who is causing the drama....you will figure this one out in your own time. I know how I have raised you...you understand already. God loves us all the time.
Grant you have a beautiful connection and appreciation for the things that we know are there yet cannot see. It has come easy to you ever since your imaginary friends and their extended family came to live with us. ;-) Yet, that is not so easy for everyone. Jake you have conviction like nothing I've ever seen. Well, that's not true, Daddy has that conviction. Yet like your Daddy, trusting in those things you cannot see are very difficult for you. You worry about things that have not yet happened and you can't see that there is someone to catch you when you fall. You both (Daddy and you) need to remember that you are never alone. Faith is a light in the dark. If both of you boys could somehow combine Grant's ingrained and solid faith in God with Jake's conviction to the things he loves, wants and believes- you two would have an unbreakable faith and understanding of God. This is another of the thousands of reasons you two need each other. You fit together like a puzzle.

Wish #3: LOVE AND SELF-LOVE(ESTEEM): I know I can talk to you about love but when it comes to self-love I will feel much like a hypocrite. You won't be hearing me claim that I have figured any of the complex equations yet in all of my 32 years... I simply will not claim a lie so huge! I never have quite figured out why I have such problems with liking who I am or having "self-esteem or self-worth". I have a default button that always seems to take me right back to negative thinking. I don't know what I ever did to myself to make me not like me so much, but wow it must have been pretty bad because I don't think me, myself and I have ever gotten along. I pray you discover the clue to figure out this complex situation. In case it matters to you- I not only love both of you, but I love you to the end of all time...and we all know that time will never end! 

Oh, how I have so many thing to tell you about what I have learned in this life I simply must take the time to live in this life as well so those stories and lessons must wait for another day and time. I am going to go wrap your Christmas presents right now!
Love and Blessings,
Mom