Harsh Truth in a Lovely World

I have been struggling lately boys. When I struggle I often search out the reason and discover the truth behind it all so that you may learn from my mistakes. If there is one thing I am certain- you will makes mistakes. It is how you handle yourself in the face of those mistakes that will set you apart from the rest of the world. I have spent my whole life trying to figure out how to restructure my responses to take accountability and change my behaviors once faced with mistakes. As a child, I went through times when I responded to my mistakes much like a certain four year I know. In order to avoid disappointing or angering adults I would lie to cover myself...so, my mother tells me :-) The problem with this approach is that you lose trust and it completely hinders your moral and ethical development. The next step I took in my development was to admit to the wrong-doing simply to avoid conflict weather I was the person who needed to apologize or not. The problem with this approach is that it damages your self-esteem and crushes your self-value. I am now on a teeter-totter between this approach and the one where if you simply do the "crime"- you fess up -and "pay the time". I haven't mastered this last approach which leaves me in an awkward position where I find myself "telling on myself" out of sheer guilt. The main thing I know...is that I am never far from reviling the truth and sometimes maybe too much of the truth. I fear I overdo these things in my desperate attempt to help you understand accountability and humility. Everyone is out there everyday and making mistakes...if not many mistakes. I have never been one to get into very much trouble and if I do it was often related to direction from my mother. Please understand that I see that as a valued part of my life. If your mother and/or father cannot help you (yes, even into your 30's), you might be missing the most honest and pure truths behind who you are. Some other family members may criticize, but you have to know the difference between what is meant for your well-being and separate that from what is their own personal gain from the "take down". Some people just need to feel as if they are above you or soothe themselves in the fact you have been weakened by their selfish "take down". It is a harsh truth in a lovely world. I hope that makes sense. I don't want to scare you into pessimism, I simply want to save you from the unfortunate places in which I sometimes find myself.